Far Away (For Far Too Long)
by that-first-glance-feeling
Summary: Gold and the Queens of Darkness come to Storybrooke forcing Emma on a mission: she is sent to the Enchanted Forest to find the Sorcerer and get his book while Maleficent casts a sleeping curse over the whole town. Time passes and Emma does not age, though she dies quite some times. Will she succeed in her quest and come back to break the curse by proving her love is timeless?
1. Prologue

**A/N: Here we are, at the beginning of another multi-chapter. This will be a really angsty journey because apparently this is the mood I'm in after **I Can't Lose You Either**.**

**I've shamelessly taken inspiration from the song Far Away by Nickelback for this fic so I'd highly recommend you listen to it if you like listening to music as you read.**

**I hope you like this story, and please let me know your thoughts on it, what you think will happen, how long it's going to take Emma to come back, etc. Your reviews always brighten up my days and I wish I could send each and every single one of you a fresh batch of cupcakes for being so lovely!**

**And without further ado, here it is! Thank you for reading!**

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><p><strong>Far Away (For Far Too Long)<strong>

_Prologue_

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><p>"Swan, whatever happens, know that I love you." He said in an almost whispered, raspy voice.<p>

She looked at him and his expression seemed tense but otherwise neutral. The lack of that sparkle in his eyes (the one that never failed to take her breath away whenever he looked at her this intensely) in addition to the clear note of worry in his normally smooth, soothing voice were the only things betraying his carefully-built exterior.

The fact that she knew he was only trying so hard to keep it together for her sake only made it worse.

"The curse! It's HERE!" Leroy's voice echoed all around Storybrooke, its inhabitants rushing to the established meeting point in front of Granny's in a mad frenzy of panic and shock.

Mary Margaret broke into tears soon after David gave up all his regal stance, stopping mid-speech to rush to Emma when he saw her and Killian approaching the spot where the whole town was gathering.

The prince wrapped his arms around his daughter too tight to allow her to breathe properly, letting a few tears flow down his face and fall into Emma's hair. Her mother quickly joined them, both her parents embracing her and refusing to let go for a long time - refusing to believe they were about to lose their daughter to a curse for the third time.

Both royals knew everyone looked up to them as leaders, especially at hard times like this, and their loyal subjects needed to see in them the strength and the courage they would have to find in themselves to face another curse together. But, at that moment, they were not royals, they were not leaders, they were not a prince and a princess.

They were simply Charming and Snow, David and Mary Margaret. They were two parents being forced to watch helplessly as their little girl would be taken from them and thrown into a cruel world all alone once again.

Henry was being the bravest of them all, which was no surprise really. Her kid had always had shown himself worthy of his powerful heart - there was more hope and unwavering faith to be found there than in all of the townsfolk combined. It's quite ironic how Henry had really taken after Snow, despite having been raised by the Evil Queen, when you think about it. Speaking of, even Regina had showed an unusual amount of affection towards Emma.

"Don't worry, you're the Saviour. You'll break the curse and bring back our happy endings one more time." Regina said reassuringly before giving Emma a quick hug and moving back to wait for the curse by Henry's side.

Emma went around shaking hands and exchanging hugs and words of encouragement with everybody until there was only one person left to take leave of her.

Of course he'd made sure to be the last one she would say goodbye to. And if the whole situation wasn't maddening enough, there he was, trying to look as though she was only going away for a few days.

The truth was Emma was being separated from him and everyone she loves for god knows how long, and she had absolutely no idea how she was going to endure their absence, much less how she would comply with her end of the deal with Rumplestiltskin and the Queens of Darkness.

"Killian, I- I can't do this..." She trailed off, her chest was suddenly too tight to contain her lungs even though she could feel them shrinking as all air escaped her.

She was struggling against the overwhelming urge to drop to the floor and let herself cry until all of this was forgotten. This had to be a nightmare she would soon wake up from, it simply could not be real. Having to fend for herself in the real world with the burden of knowing she was an orphan - knowing whoever her parents were and wherever they lived, the two people in the world who were biologically programmed to love her unconditionally had given her up - had been terrible enough.

But somehow this was even worse. It is one thing to live your life on your own without your parents, and it's an entirely different thing to have finally found your family only to lose it again.

(It is one thing to be heartbroken and never allow yourself to fall in love thereafter, and it's an entirely different thing to have learned to love again, learned to believe there is such a thing as _true love_, only to not have it by her side when she needed it - _him, _she needed _him_ - the most.)

Perhaps the price of being the Saviour - i.e. being perpetually busy bringing everyone their happy endings - was that she'd never get her own happily-ever-after; even though the realisation that this is what she had secretly dreamed of her entire life was still relatively new to Emma.

"I know, love. You're not a tearful goodbye kiss person." He gently brushed away a single tear that escaped her eye. "But given the possibility that we might spend centuries apart can you blame me for hoping I'd get one?"

"I can't do this _without you, _Killian." She tried to stifle a sob with little success. "You've always been right beside me on everything. I can't- I don't _want_ to do this on my own."

"Swan..." He felt his heart squeezing in his chest, his composure starting to break as he couldn't hide his concern anymore. He looked at her with so much anguish flashing behind his eyes that she could see how he hated himself at that moment for not going with her.

She leaned her head into the hand he cupped her cheek with, her own coming up to his chest, hoping the steady beating of his heart under her fingertips would soothe her one last time before she had to go. And, as usual, he could read her like an open book.

"I assure you it'll be beating for you every day until your return."

She sniffed and more tears rolled down her cheeks with his promise. She shook her head because, unlike him, she was more of a realist, and she had no idea _if _she would ever make it back. She wasn't even scared, she was _terrified_. She wanted to scream and lock her arms around him, make him come with her somehow. Frankly, she had no idea how she would do this without his unfailing trust in her, even (especially) when she didn't trust herself.

She had only been in the Enchanted Forest twice before, and both times she was with people who were from there and who knew how to not killed by an ogre for one thing. How the hell was she supposed to survive there on her own _and_ find the damn story book _and _bring it back to Storybrooke?

(The irony in the town's name had never been more annoying.)

"You can't know that, Killian." She all but whimpered.

"I do know it, my love." He brought his arm around her waist and pulled her to him, holding her close to his heart as she let herself indulge her tears burying her face on his neck.

"You will find the book sooner than you think, love. And then you'll come back to me, like you've always done." That earned him a little huff of laughter and he could feel her lips forming a sad smile against his neck. "I _know_ you'll succeed, Emma. I've yet to see you fail." He whispered, pressing his lips against her hair.

Emma pulled away a bit to search his eyes, but where she had expected to find signs that he was merely lying to comfort her, she didn't. He genuinely believed in her so much that somehow he knew she would get the book and make it back to him, to her family. And seeing such conviction in his eyes at a moment when she was giving in to despair made her feel stronger than ever.

She brought her hands to both sides of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss, letting her feelings do the talking for her as she couldn't voice the words she desperately needed him to know. She ran her fingers through his hair and he gently cradled her face in his hand, his other arm holding her firmly against his chest, giving her all the love and support she needed, and hoping she'd remember this in the future when he wouldn't be there for her.

"There's not a day that will go by when I won't think of you, Killian."

"Good." He smiled before pressing his lips to hers one last time. "Emma, if there's one thing the last curse taught me is that we were never really apart."

She tilted her head and looked at him in confusion.

"During the year we spent away from each other you were always with me, in my thoughts and in my dreams. Even when I tried to make myself forget about you and return to my old life. And you-" his voice was beginning to break, "you couldn't remember a bloody thing about me but you still had one too many ship paintings in your living room. Don't think I didn't notice it, Swan."

She gave him a sad smile and entwined their fingers together. He brought his face closer to hers, their foreheads touching. She could feel his warm breath on her lips and she briefly wondered whether he could taste her tears on his.

"I know better now. I will never leave you, my love. I'll be there with you the entire time, just as you'll be right here with me, too. You know where to find me." She nodded and raised her free hand to his chest, placing it above his heart. "That's a good girl."

He kissed her forehead and she was leaning in to capture his lips again when they were interrupted.

"Alright, that's quite enough now." Cruella spoke, the Queens of Darkness and Rumplestiltskin having magically puffed in the middle of the street. "I'm afraid your time is up."

Acting on pure instinct, Killian immediately squeezed Emma's hand and brought his other arm around her protectively.

"How's the heart doing, dearie? Feeling a little squeeze?" Rumple asked shooting a cold look at Killian, who clenched his jaw and held Emma tighter. "Worry not, Captain. That's not what we're here for."

"Right," Maleficent said, "and it's a good thing the two of you look so attached. Now I know just who to cast the spell on."

Maleficent waved her hand towards the couple and Killian was lifted off the floor, a purple glow gradually enveloping his whole body as he floated above their heads.

"What are you doing with him?!" Emma shouted. She could feel her magic sparking to life in her palms and she clenched her fists. "You said I was the only one allowed to leave Storybrooke and everybody else would be cursed."

"Don't say you've never heard about Aurora's sleeping curse?" Ursula huffed in annoyance.

"I have," Emma replied, "and I clearly remember the entire kingdom was put to sleep."

"Indeed, but the spell must be cast on one person, and from there it will then spread to the others. How would you be able to break it otherwise?" Maleficent said with a challenging look on her face.

"So, I _can_ break it?" Emma asked, sighing with relief when she looked up and saw Killian smiling at her.

"That depends on you, darling." Cruella intervened, approaching Emma and eyeing her from head to toe, as if she could assess her competence to accomplish such a task from a mere once over. "And on the pirate too, I suppose."

"What do you mean? And you still haven't said why you chose him to cast the curse on." Emma narrowed her eyes at the woman in the pompous fur coat.

"Listen here, Saviour," Maleficent said, clearly losing her patience. "The only thing that can break the curse is true love's kiss. So, you'd better hope this little dalliance you've got with the pirate is not as pathetic as it seems otherwise your entire family will be condemned to sleep forever."

Emma looked up at Killian to find everything she already knew confirmed by the way eyes his eyes seemed to be of a blue brighter than the sky beyond him when he looked back at her, and in the soft, reassuring smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"I wouldn't worry about that." Emma replied confidently.

"Great. However, we've made a deal. First, you get us the book. And then we'll let you go about kissing him." Maleficent said as she lowered Killian down close to where she was standing.

The second his feet touched the ground he tried to move towards Maleficent and stab her, but his sword couldn't go through the purple cloud forming around him. He quickly put it back into the scabbard and reached out with his hand, touching the the purple-tinged wall. It seemed he was trapped inside a bubble.

"We'll send you through a portal to the Enchanted Forest, and all you have to do is find the Sorcerer, take his story book, and bring it back here. It's not too complicated, right?" Ursula offered with a sarcastic smile.

"And how exactly am I supposed to get back to Storybrooke?" Emma asked. "I thought there no more portals in the Enchanted Forest after we undid Regina's curse."

"You're right, dearie, there are no more portals." Rumple let out one of his creepy, shrieking laughs. "Which is why we're using Maleficent's last magic bean to take you there. And you'll use this-" he gave her the same wand she had used to get back from her time travelling adventure with Killian, "to return. Do you still remember how it works?"

"Yeah. I can re-open the portal and it'll take me back here." Emma held the wand firmly in her hands wondering whether she could use it before even trying to find the Sorcerer. Maybe if she had a good plan, or if she was fast enough she could-

"I wouldn't even think about it if I were you." Ursula interrupted her train of thought. "You might be the Saviour but you'd be up against all four of us. And Rumplestiltskin here tells me you can't even control your powers properly yet." The Sea Witch laughed, producing a sound as hollow as her soul. "It would be ridiculous to even attempt it."

Emma decided to ignore Ursula's reply altogether. She tucked the wand safely inside her boot and turned to Maleficent to ask the one question that had been making her restless ever since she had made a deal with the villains.

"What if- what if I die before I get the book?"

"Well, we can't have that can we, dearie?" Rumple answered for Maleficent, who shot him a glare that made him roll his eyes and step back.

"You won't die, I'll make sure of that." Maleficent said with a look on her face that sent a shiver down Emma's spine, her gut telling her the worst part of this curse was about to be revealed.

"How?" Emma braced herself for an answer she knew she wasn't going to like.

"I added a little twist to this curse. Should you get killed you'll simply start over from where you left off, however many times it takes until you get the book and reopen the portal." Maleficent said, looking extremely pleased with herself. "Until then, you'll wake up with all your wounds healed every time you die, and you won't age at all."

"Take me in her place!" Killian started to furiously claw at the purple bubble surrounding him with his hook. "You don't need the Saviour to be the one to fetch you the bloody book. Let her stay here sleeping peacefully with the rest of her family. My kiss can break the curse just the same as hers." He was shouting at the top of his lungs as the Queens of Darkness barely even spared him a glance.

"You're right, Captain." Rumple chimed in. "It doesn't have to be the Saviour specifically, but the Sorcerer has a very strict policy as to who puts their hands in his magical artefacts. He only trusts those with hearts that have been tempted by darkness and turned away from it. I've taken a good look at yours and I'm afraid it won't do, he would never trust you."

Emma saw the despair written all over Killian's face and rushed over to him, placing her left hand on the bubble wall keeping them apart where his right one was on the inside, willing him to feel her touch.

"It's okay, Killian, I'll be fine. Didn't you tell me I would succeed?" She said, unable to hold at bay the new tears that streamed down her cheeks when she saw his desperation for her.

"Aye, love, I know you will." He said in a hoarse voice. "But I wish I could spare you this torment. I can't bear to think of you going on this bloody quest on your own, and we don't even know how long it's going to take."

"And I can't even think of letting you go in my place." She touched her forehead on the purple wall and he did the same from inside the bubble. "I'd never let you go alone either, but we have no choice. I have to do this."

Killian nodded and a single, traitorous tear managed to find its way down his cheek. "You'll come back to me, Swan. I know you will."

"I promise you." She paused for a moment before asking, "will you still love me even centuries from now?"

He smiled - a true, whole-hearted smile for the first time that day.

"And far beyond that. How could I not, Emma, when you're taking my heart away with you?"

"Good. Because I have something very important to tell you when I get back."

"I'll always wait for you, my love."

Emma lifted her head and saw Maleficent approaching them.

"I guess we're ready then." Maleficent said, and Emma looked back to find her parents, Henry, and the rest of Storybrooke watching them, their faces filled with _hope_. Even Mary Margaret had stopped crying and was now smiling at her daughter, and whether she was sending her good thoughts Emma couldn't tell, but she could swear she felt herself getting stronger just by holding her mother's gaze.

Maleficent waved her hand in Killian's direction and the bubble around him disappeared. Emma saw the thick, purple smoke enveloping his whole body again until his smile faded from his lips and his eyes fell closed, his handsome features softening into a tranquil expression.

Then, the fog lifted and he was slowly lowered to the asphalt where he was to lay for who knows how long. When Emma knelt beside him, she turned around to find everybody else already asleep on the street too, a thin violet haze floating around all of them.

Emma turned back to Killian and brought her hand to his face,stroking his cheek fondly and tracing that scar she loved so much with her thumb, committing to memory every single line in his countenance. She knew she'd need to see that face in her dreams otherwise her sanity would quickly abandon her.

"I'll come back to you as soon as I can." She whispered to his sleeping form, hoping he could hear her in his dreams.

Emma stood up with a sharp intake of breath. She looked at the four villains with her chin held high, glaring defiantly at each of them as a warning that when she returned, she would make sure they pay the price for their deeds.

"Open up the portal. I'm ready to go."

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><p><strong>Review? :D<strong>


	2. One

**A/N: Here's chapter one! Thank you so much for your lovely reviews and I hope you like this chapter. Do let me know if you have any idea of what's going to happen next - I promise it'll be a journey full of surprises!**

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

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><p><em>Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light<br>__You'll come back when it's over,  
><em>_No need to say goodbye_

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><p>"Open up the portal. I'm ready to go."<p>

"Na-ah. Not so fast, dearie." Gold said, making a show of waving his index finger inches away from Emma's nose. "You should probably know where to start looking for the Sorcerer."

"Right. That would be helpful."

"In my castle you'll find a map to his hiding place." Gold explained somewhat impatiently. "It's in a wooden cabinet in the dining room. You'll recognise it by my collection of swords and daggers that you'll be able to spot through the glass doors. I sealed it with magic so only you would have the power to unlock it."

"Wait a minute. If you went there to put this enchantment on the cabinet, then why can't you go and get me the map yourself? We all want to speed things up, don't we?"

"I haven't been in the Enchanted Forest ever since Baelfire brought me back from the dead... only to get caught in Zelena's trap afterwards." He cleared his throat after his voice faltered slightly at the name that always brought painful memories to both of them.

"Miss Swan, I spent centuries looking for a way to get my hands on the Sorcerer's hat, but I knew there was no point in going after him myself. When I learned there was to be a Saviour, the very product of true love, and that Regina would send me to the town you would eventually arrive at, I knew you might be my only chance of getting through to the Sorcerer and retrieve the hat I had lost to Ingrid so long ago."

"You planned on blackmailing me so I would go after the Sorcerer for you all this time?" Emma asked, her fists clenched on her sides to keep her magic from spiralling out of control as she felt anger boiling up inside of her.

"Oh, believe me, I did think my plan to cleave myself of the dagger by crushing your beloved pirate's heart would work." He said, his scowl only serving to make Emma want to punch him even harder as she recalled the torturing moments when she felt utterly helpless having to watch Killian nearly die right in front of her eyes. "Unfortunately, seeing as that didn't work, I had no choice but to recur to my original plan."

Emma glared at him and made a mental reminder to not waste a minute before making him feel the full power of the Saviour's rage once all of this was over and done with.

"As you mentioned yourself, darling, we all want to speed things up." Cruella intervened before Emma could retort to the Dark One. "We would appreciate it immensely if you could bring us the book as fast as you can."

"Trust me, I'll do my best to come back and break this curse so I can punch every single one of you in the face as soon as possible." Emma snorted.

Maleficent cocked an eyebrow at her, seemingly enjoying her show of self confidence, and looked over at Gold, who took it as his cue to act.

"While we certainly believe you, dearie," he said, making his way over to where Killian was lying on the street quicker than Emma could register where he was heading to, "we thought you could use a little extra _incentive_."

He then thrust his hand quite violently into Killian's chest and brought it back out with a bright, glowing red heart held tight in his grip. Emma stretched her arms out towards him and held her hands up, feeling the familiar prickle of her magic thrumming along her skin all the way to her fingertips.

"Put it back right now!" Emma said through gritted teeth. "You know you can't crush his heart, Gold. If you do there's no way I can break the curse, and you can be sure I won't hand over the book to you if I can't save my family anymore."

"Once again, you're right." Gold replied with his best cynical smirk on. "But you're the one who assured me the pirate is your true love. You chose him, and the consequences of that decision."

Before she could even try to put together the meaning behind his words, Gold started to squeeze Killian's heart causing his body to wince in pain, his chest jerking forward from the ground, and Emma could see the muscles in his jaw clenching as a deep frown marred his formerly peaceful, sleeping countenance.

"You see," he continued, the cold smile on his face nothing short of diabolic given how thoroughly he seemed to enjoy hurting someone, "he might be asleep, but as long as I hold his heart in my hand I still have the power to inflict as much pain on my dear old friend here as I please."

Gold raised his hand with Killian's heart in a clearly challenging way before squeezing it harder. Emma could see his body jolting again out of the corner of her eye, her gaze never leaving the pumping heart in the crocodile's hands, and while her gut warned her against biting the bait so quickly, she couldn't not listen to an even stronger urge to save the man she loved from being in so much pain.

Emma let her emotions take over her mind and within a millisecond she was knocking Gold down to the floor with a blast of white magic coming from her left hand, as her right one made softer silver rays of light cover Killian's heart and keep it from falling down. She focused her mind on soothing thoughts, willing her love for him to use her powers as a channel to alleviate his pain, her magic making it float in the air while she hoped she was giving him some sort of relief. She finally looked at him and saw his features softening with the faintest of smiles forming on his lips.

There was no way Emma could actually _know_ this, though something in her chest gave her the _feeling _that he'd never in his life felt as peaceful as now, when his heart was surrounded and healed by her love in every possible way.

"Then I guess I'm taking it with me as a guarantee that you won't hurt him while I'm gone." Emma said proudly.

"I didn't think you'd actually fall for that one, dearie, but what do you know." Gold snorted.

Before she could even think of a reply Maleficent reached out both her arms, her left one lifting Emma from the floor and pulling her closer to where the witch was standing, while her right one enveloped both Killian's heart and the magical shield Emma had made around it with the same purple fumes that had trapped him in the bubble.

She started to wonder whether that bubble had another purpose other than simply holding Killian in place, but she didn't have time to finish that thought. Maleficent quickly pushed her arm into Emma's chest and wrapped her fingers firmly around her heart. Her chest felt as if it was starting to burn, as if the witch's fingers were scorching their way through to the very core of her heart - which was precisely what they were doing.

Suddenly she understood why her heart hadn't knocked Maleficent out with a blast of magic like it did with Cora; and the thought that there was something even worse than having your heart ripped out of your chest was not as frightening to her as the fact that the witch still had Killian's heart under her control.

"The Saviour's heart cannot be taken, as I'm sure you are well aware of." Maleficent said, her left hand still around Emma's heart. "But that doesn't mean it's not subjected to the vulnerability true love brings. Haven't you heard, darling? Love is _weakness_."

The burning sensation stopped when Emma felt Maleficent's fingers reaching what felt like the very centre of her being. The latter proceeded to wave her right hand between Killian's heart and Emma's chest, her dark magic creating a translucent tunnel that connected their hearts in a way that felt surprisingly - shockingly - _nice_.

Emma started to feel giddy and bubbly out of nowhere as she was filled with an inexplicable sudden happiness. Her whole body felt so much lighter that she had to look down to check if she wasn't actually flying off of the ground. She absolutely lacked the strength to hold back the giggling fit that took possession of her, and when she looked over at Killian, she assumed he was having a most delightful dream judging by the toothy grin lightening up his entire face.

Maleficent smirked in a self-satisfactory way that made Emma stop laughing and be instantly taken aback by worry. Much like it had appeared, the tunnel vanished in the blink of an eye, and Killian's heart was haphazardly tossed over to Gold. He gave it a powerful, white-knuckle squeeze and Emma dropped to her knees howling, clutching her own chest where it was making her nearly suffocate with a pain she had never felt before.

"There's a lot to be said about the many ways you can exploit two hearts linked by true love, one of them being the Duo Cor spell, which I just cast upon you and your sleeping beauty over there." Maleficent explained smiling. "You will feel _everything _he feels as if you had his very heart beating inside of your chest, and vice versa."

"Now you'll know better than to try any tricks on us or stall for time over there." Ursula continued, gazing at Emma rendered helpless on the ground and flashing her ally an approving smile. "You'll know when we've grown tired of waiting around for you to grace us with your presence again."

Rumplestiltskin finally loosened his grip on Killian's heart and Emma immediately felt a relief in her chest. She tried to will her heartbeat into slowing down when she saw Gold put the heart back in its rightful place, failing miserably when a particularly horrible thought assaulted her mind.

"I suppose if you suddenly decided you don't need me in this quest anymore," she managed to say through her heavy breathing, "you could- you could crush his heart and we'd both-"

"Die? Exactly." Cruella cut her off. "Isn't it a brilliant spell?"

Emma took a few deep breaths before standing up and looking at the four faces that were clearly enjoying themselves far too much by threatening her and everyone she loved.

"Can I go now then, or do you still have any more spells to cast on me?"

"Don't worry, we're quite done cursing you now." Ursula said, both her and Cruella chuckling conspicuously.

"I do think you'll find this useful, though, dearie." Gold waved his hand and Charming's sword materialised right in front of Emma.

She took it, ran her fingers affectionately over the beautifully crafted basked which curled around where her hand was meant to go, and prayed to all the gods above that she'd have her half of father's courage for the journey awaiting her.

"Alright. _Now_ we're ready to open up the portal." Maleficent said, producing a magic bean from a hidden pocket between the folds of her skirts.

"Wait." Emma nearly shouted. "Can I take a pen and a notepad with me? I'll go insane if I don't keep track of how long it's been and the things I've done."

Gold let out an almost childish snort at that. "A diary, miss Swan, really? That's your request?"

"Fine." Maleficent cut him off before he could stall Emma's departure any longer with his pointless mocking. "You'll have it on you once you arrive there. We'll also give you a different attire, one that's far more suited to your new surroundings and might just save your life when you're hiding from danger."

"You can thank us upon your return, dearie." Of course Rumplestiltskin would not miss the chance of making fun of a situation this dreadful.

"Oh, you bet I will." Emma replied, cocking her head to the side and flashing him a sarcastic smile that perfectly mirrored his own.

"Right then, off you go." Maleficent said before throwing the bean to the floor, the asphalt immediately starting to swirl as the ground opened, showing a dark hole Emma was supposed to jump into. "Best of luck on the journey ahead, darling."

"We'll be eagerly awaiting your return." Gold said, waving her goodbye with a flourish of his hand.

Emma paid no attention to their words, turning her back to the portal to look at her family and the rest of Storybrooke lying fast asleep on main street.

"I'll come back to you as soon as I can. I promise." She whispered to herself, blinking back the tears that rapidly swelled in her eyes as she conjured up her happiest memories with Henry, her parents, and Killian, using them to summon the courage to proceed.

Without allowing herself to feel too afraid she might never see them again that she wouldn't be able to do what she must, Emma abruptly turned to face the portal again and ran straight to it, jumping into the vortex before the ground stopped swirling and closed the passage.

All looked still and quiet, as though nothing huge had taken place there. Only it had, and this was just the beginning.

"I have a question now." Ursula said, coming to stand between Maleficent and Cruella as Rumplestilltskin was too absorbed in his own musings to join them - he was looking over the townsfolk spread on the ground, one particular _Beauty _catching his eye before he made his way over to her sleeping form.

"How shall we entertain ourselves until the Saviour comes back?" She asked, the three ladies sharing dangerously cunning glances.

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><p>Emma landed face first on the leafy floor of the same forest she arrived at once upon a time with Killian, their time travelling adventure seeming too far back in the past now. Before too many memories of their companionship, their shared secrets, and the undeniable attraction between them that they just couldn't seem to ignore, she stood up and was brushing away the dirt off her jeans when she realised she wasn't wearing those anymore.<p>

She took a moment to inspect her new clothes and take in the pair of beige leather trousers that fitted her legs so comfortably, the light brown vest with an additional layer of fur close to her neck, and what looked like the same brown cloak she had taken from someone when she last came to the Enchanted Forest.

It was probably just a random coincidence, she thought. Still, it was good to have something even vaguely familiar with her, and she couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling that the rest of her garments also felt well-known, yet strange to her at the same time.

Such thoughts were interrupted by a louder one, which got her patting her vest and cloak looking for where her pockets might be, until she located one on the inner side of her vest. She reached into it and produced a small, brown, leather bound notebook with a strap tying it closed and holding an ink pen to it. She smiled at the thought that for the first time in her life she would actually keep a journal, and quickly put them back in her pocket.

Then, she felt her boots for the wand that was her only guarantee of a way back home, letting out a sigh of relief when she saw the magical object safely tucked in there. She absent-mindedly placed her hand over her father's sword, which was sheathed in a scabbard hanging from her belt, as she started to worry thinking of where to go from there.

Emma looked around, inspecting her surroundings in search of a sign of which path would lead her to Rumplestiltskin's castle. Finding nothing to aid her currently non-existent sense of direction, she realised she hadn't fully appreciated having Killian as her guide (and protector, though she would never admit it to him) when they last found themselves here. She had felt lost, and scared, and on the verge of a full panic attack, and she'd never thanked him properly for keeping a calm posture all the time - which had more to do with calming her fears than his knowledge of where exactly they were, or how they'd go back to Storybrooke.

She was used to tracking down bail skippers and all sorts of perps easily and efficiently through the winding roads of Boston and New York, but it turned out concrete jungles were nothing compared to the thick woods of the Enchanted Forest.

"Okay." She sighed. "Let's just try to not get killed on the first day." Emma cheered herself onward and walked straight into the woods, making her way amongst branches sticking out of trees and jumping over protuberant roots rising from the ground, her pace quickly picking up until she was running for her life - where to, she had not the slightest idea.

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><p><em><strong>End of chapter one<strong>_

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><p><strong>Review?<strong>


	3. Two

**A/N: I hope you enjoy Emma's first day on her own in the EF. This is going to be a painful chapter so I'd brace yourselves for the feels.**

**Trigger warning for character death - Worry not, if you read the previous chapters you'll know this is not a 'permanent' death let's say. AND, I promise there will be a beautiful happy ending to this story so just bear with me until we get there.**

**Also, I made a playlist for this fic with all the songs that inspire me to write it :D If you want to listen you can find the link to it on my profile.**

**And finally, I've got some lovely cupcakes to say thank you to at the end of this chapter, but for now let's get on with it! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing! B xxxx**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

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><p><em>This is just another night, and we've had many of them<em>  
><em>To the morning we're cast out, but I know I'll land here again<em>

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><p>Emma runs and runs and runs until her lungs feel like they are burning from within, but the adrenaline coursing through her veins won't let her stop her panic-driven race anytime soon. She is racing against herself - her deeply enervated mind versus her aching muscles - and whoever crosses the finish line first gets to dictate what she'll do next. And since she's as scared of the result as she is of having to figure out what her next move should be, she decides it's best to keep running, even if she's headed nowhere.<p>

She pays no attention to the branches that scrape and bite into her skin as she powers through the woods, her instincts making her determined not to stop running if means she'd have to start thinking about her current situation, which can only be accurately described as the worst dystopian scenario that beats even her childhood nightmares about all the possible reasons why her parents abandoned her.

She doesn't see a thick protuberant root sprouting from the ground until she trips over it, falling face first on the muddy soil of the Enchanted Forest. With a heavy sigh she tries her best to wipe the dirt off her face, but her also muddy hands don't prove to be very helpful at that. She tries to stand up to start making a move again but stumbles back to the ground, feeling a head rush and the initial stages of a migraine threatening to take her under.

Emma sits down and tries her best to calm herself, taking deep breaths - _in through the nose, out through the mouth, repeat, repeat, repeat_. Her stomach growls loud and that's when she realises she'd probably been running for hours non-stop and without even thinking of finding food before.

She decides the best thing to do is stop panicking and try to be logical about the goddamned mess she finds herself in - as if she has any other option if she really wants to make it back home retaining some semblance of her sanity. She looks around at the trees and the never-ending green surrounding her and finally allows the dreadful realisation to sink in.

Yesterday she was perfectly safe, at home, the Snow Queen was gone and so was Gold, her family was safe, the town was at peace, and for the first time since she could remember, Storybrooke wasn't under siege by any new threat - she should have suspected their peace wouldn't last long.

Still, it felt like things were finally starting to fall into place. She was revelling in the idea of getting her own place and contemplating whether she should invite Killian to look for apartments with her and Henry. After all, even though it was clearly too soon for them to be considering moving in together, she wouldn't deny it was definitely in her plans to have him leave his cramped little room at Granny's and move in with her at some point in the near future - _their _future.

_No, don't go there_, she thinks. Emma blinks back the tears threatening to spill over and tries to focus only on her breathing. Letting her thoughts wander away to Killian only makes this nightmare seem all the more real and painful.

She couldn't let herself wonder if it was only his body that slept while his mind was well aware of everything else around him, of Gold and the Evil Trio possibly taunting and hurting him as their new past-time - _but_, she would feel it if he was hurt, right? Despite the sharp pang in her exceedingly fatigued lungs, her heart felt alright. That is if she ignored its frantic drumming, as though it was trying to beat its way out of her chest and back to Killian's side.

_Soon_, she thinks, _I'll be home soon_. She only had to find Rumplestiltskin's castle first - _scratch that_, she had to find something to eat first - and then all she had to do was go to the Sorcerer, convince him to trust her with the book, open the portal back to Storybrooke and give it to four unscrupulous villains who would waste no time in using it to change the course of history to fit their own designs. Then she could finally break the curse and save everybody - at least for the time being.

And after that, well, then all that would be left to do was find a way to stop the Dark Frenemies from doing whatever it is they intend to do with the book. She doesn't know what their plan is, but one thing she can take for granted: if they succeed everybody will get robbed out of their happy endings once again. And it is her job to not let that happen.

God, did being the damned Saviour mean she would never have some time to breathe? Emma tries, but she can't stop herself from thinking of what could happen if she fails. Would the world as she knows it cease to exist entirely? Would Henry, her parents, Killian, hell would even she herself exist?

Simply imagining the possible outcomes should she fail was enough to send shivers down her spine and a chill to her bones, so she decides not to waste another second indulging her fears and stands up. She is on a mission, the most important one she'd been on so far, and she will not fail.

(She can't afford to fail. Not when the lives of everyone she loves are at stake.)

She absolutely _has to find food first_, though. Her stomach is kind enough to remind her of that with another famished growl, and on that note Emma is rushing forward, careful to push branches out of her way this time. She realises she also needs to find water as fast as she can, as much to quench her thirst as to clean the cuts and scrapes branding her face and arms before she gets an infection from all the mud she's covered in head to toe after that nearly acrobatic drop.

Emma walks on and finds lots of winding tracks on the ground underneath her feet, which were probably made by herself in her reckless jog around the forest earlier. She doesn't know how long it's been since she started looking before she finally reaches a spot where the soil gives place to sand. She rushes forward until there are no more trees surrounding her and she finds herself in a beach. She barely notices the different tracks left on the sand with faint footprints that look too big to have been made by human feet, but all thoughts vanish from her mind when she sees the sea.

She runs to the water and drops to her knees, splashing her face and arms in desperate, clumsy motions, and drinking the salt water in a quick succession of gulps because it's all she has for now. She stands up pondering whether she should shed all her clothes and jump in, deciding against that impulse because she can't afford to lose either the wand that would bring her home or her father's sword if someone came and took her clothes when she was too far away in the sea.

Her hand absent-mindedly moves to rest over her father's sword as she starts thinking if she could try to fish something using the long blade for assistance, or if using her bare hands might be easier.

She walks along the sure still unsure of how - or _if_ - she could do this stopping dead in her tracks when she hears a loud thud and feels the ground tremble beneath her feet. She turns around to see a humongous monstrosity standing a few feet away from where she is, biting her tongue to keep from screaming out and giving in to the mix of frustration, anger, and dread in the pit of her stomach.

She tightens her grip on Charming's sword instinctively, but refrains from taking it from the scabbard considering the noise of scraping metal it would make.

_Ogres are blind, they hunt by sound alone._

She recalls her mother's words when they faced Emma's first ogre together years ago and takes slow steps away from the creature and heading back into the woods. But, her boots are too damp from the water and with every sloshing sound she makes, he turns his head in her direction and takes an uncertain step forward. When she's nearly reaching the forest he suddenly roars, a frightening sound that sends adrenaline shooting through her veins and Emma runs for dear life.

"Damn it!" She quickly finds herself surrounded by the woods again, which she hopes will provide her with some place to hide. Without her gun or a bow and arrow, she frankly has no idea how she could fight an ogre with a sword.

Her leg muscles are begging for rest having had too little time to recover from her earlier run, and even her lungs can't bring her enough oxygen in their exhaustion. She is panting and breathless too soon but she knows she can't stop now. She knows she's supposed to wake up to life again if she dies because of Maleficent's spell, but she's not eager to test it and see if the spell really works.

A fairly short tree with a thick trunk and, the most important feature she was looking for, plenty of branches hanging from its sides, catches Emma's attention. She quickly looks back to make sure she'd put enough distance between herself and the ogre before jumping to the tree, holding on to its branches and ignoring the small thorns that dig into her palms, feeling so very thankful that the attire the Queens of Darkness had chosen for her give her enough mobility to climb a tree faster than she would have thought herself capable of.

She perches herself on a firm-looking branch almost at the top and looks down to see the ogre finally catching up and stopping close to her tree. She holds her breath as he looks around confused and stands immobile for a few minutes, trying to listen for any indication of where his prey is, until he finally gives up and walks on with slumped shoulders and a grimace that befits him quite well.

Emma gets down from the tree and decides to sleep on an empty stomach rather than risk going after food when it's already pitch dark in the forest, and finding a safe corner to sleep in becomes her top priority.

She walks - more like drags her weary legs forward - for about another half hour until she finds a clearing. She looks around it suspiciously and she could swear it is the very same clearing where Mary Margaret and she had found Faux-Lancelot's camp years ago when they came here - the very same place where she had met Killian for the first time.

She knows better than to let her nostalgic musings linger - there were probably far too many clearings there and the likelihood of her ending up on that exact same one was minimum. Far more likely, though, was the possibility of her wishful thinking being the product of her longing for anything that could make her feel closer to the man whose arms she'd gotten used to spending the night wrapped up in, and who now felt too far away for comfort.

Emma forces herself onwards after spotting a corner of the clearing with thick bushes which she figures she could arrange to surround her, hopefully hiding her well enough while she slept.

But, arranging the bushes in the intended way proves to be a harder job than she had thought, especially considering how utterly drained she felt. Her arms were like two lead weights pulling her shoulders down, and her fingers were unable to work the branches and leaves with their usual dexterity - definitely not after Emma had effectively spent her first day in the Enchanted Forest exhausting and starving herself to complete numbness.

She takes a long time breaking twigs and spreading leaves and branches around the central spot she would sleep in. Finally she lets herself collapse down to the ground, pulling her thick cloak tighter around her body to keep warm in the chilly night.

She didn't think she had made that much noise in her preparations but she realises she was wrong when her mind, which was almost slipping into that blissful unconsciousness of slumber, is abruptly awoken by five chubby fingers curling around her entire body and lifting her up from the floor.

"Let me go!" Emma shouts, kicking her legs against the ogre's hand to no effect.

She remembered how she had gotten free of Anton's grip and bites the finger closer to her mouth with all her remaining strength until she draws blood. The creature yelps loudly and opens his hand, letting her fall down to the floor.

She tries to stand but her head is rushing and her vision is so blurry she can barely make out the shape of the gigantic hand moving towards her again. She touches the side of her head where it was hurting so much that for a moment she couldn't think of anything else, and finds blood coating her fingertips.

Everything happens too fast for her to register when the ogre's hand traps her again and lifts her up before his eyes, watching her trying to wriggle her way of his grasp in vain.

When his fingers are squeezing and she can't breathe anymore, she gives in to the darkness surrounding her vision and lets her eyelids close, hoping that at least it will all be over fast.

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><p>Killian suddenly winces violently in his sleep, attracting Ursula's attention from where the only four people who are awake in all of Storybrooke are standing.<p>

"Looks like the Saviour is in trouble." Ursula remarks, noticing the way his eyebrows become knitted together, his lips slightly parted.

"I have to admit I didn't expect the girl to last this long before she died the first time." Cruella spits out bitterly.

"Maybe she isn't dying, just facing some form of danger." Gold says with a casual shrug before moving back to stand beside where Belle is lying, as if he couldn't care less about the mother of his grandson, the woman his son had loved so dearly.

"Oh, but she is dying," Maleficent says with a smirk and points at Killian. "Just look at him."

Killian shakes his head from one side to the other and back again many times, his lips mumbling incoherent words though no sound comes out. Then, his chest jerks up from the floor and he takes a sharp intake of breath, loud enough to make the three pairs of eyebrows watching him arch in surprise synchronously.

He exhales deeply before falling back to the ground with a loud thud, his body visibly more relaxed as he seems to sleep peacefully again with the exception of the worried frown that won't leave his countenance.

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><p>Before unconsciousness takes her under, Emma's last coherent thought is hoping to all the gods above that Maleficent's spell works so she doesn't fail again the next time.<p>

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><p><strong>End of chapter two<strong>

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><p><strong>I'd like to thank you for your lovely words of encouragement and support, I can't even begin to say how happy your reviews make me - I always start smiling like an idiot with every new email notification!<strong>

**So, my hugs and a virtual batch of freshly-baked cupcakes go out to: TutorGirlml, The Corsair's Quill, LexieMcSteamy, jessica, emlovesyouu, LichMaster701, The gleek, katelyn, captaainswaan, AConstanceC, yesiamanowl, and grandprincessanastasiaromanov5. **


	4. Three

**A/N: **To answer those of you wondering whether Killian is aware of things happening around him and/or Emma, he most certainly is. This will become clearer in a few chapters' time when you'll find out just how affected they both are by whatever happens to the other.

Have some more angst in this slightly longer chapter featuring the special appearance of two of my favourite secondary characters: Graham and Ariel!

Thank you for reading and enjoy! B xxx

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

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><p><em>Everything is dark, it's more than you can take,<br>But you catch a glimpse of sunlight shining,  
>Shining down on your face<em>

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><p>Emma slowly opens her eyes feeling the warmth of sunlight radiating from the air and spreading all along her battered skin, enveloping her comfortably and somewhat soothing her already racing heart threatening to break free from beneath her ribcage. She blinks a few times allowing her eyes to adjust to the bright light before carefully sitting up. It appears she's still in the same clearing where the ogre had attacked her the night before.<p>

She looks to her right and spots the circle of bushes she'd trusted to provide a safe place for her to rest during the night in the corner, realising that she'd probably been moved around quite a lot by the ogre before she passed out - _died _- and then he had probably tossed her lifeless body to the floor there. She tries to stand but her knees buckle and soon she stumbling back to the floor producing a muffled thud. Emma starts hearing the sound and immediately looks around her trying to spot any ogres coming at her - she finds none, but the sudden panic rising in her chest and making her breathing uneven gets the better of her.

She scrambles to her knees and uses all the energy she can summon from her overstrained limbs to rapidly crawl her way out of the centre of the clearing until she finds a tree to hide behind. Letting her head fall back against the trunk she tries to calm herself when she hears no sounds. It looks like the ogres might still be asleep, or at least far enough away, at this time of day.

She finally pays attention to the dull pain on her abdomen and lifts up her shirt to reveal a collection of bruises spread across both her sides, over her ribs and her stomach, quickly checking her arms and finding many deep purple stains on her skin all along her upper limbs as well - battle wounds that apparently would stay with her even after she'd died and come back to life.

Without success Emma tries to rid her mind of the insisting memories from the previous night(_mare_), images of foul-smelling fingers squeezing her bones and an inhumane complexion with raging, glassy eyes - eyes that looked as if they had to power to pierce through her soul with a mere glance - injecting terror into her mind, making the air come out of her lungs in ragged breaths as her shoulders start shake in an almost convulsive rhythm.

She lets go of the strong pose she'd been desperately holding on to ever since she saw everyone she loved being cursed yet again right in front of her eyes - she lets go, and immediately starts to cry.

Emma Swan had been to hell and back many times during her 28 years of life as an abandoned orphan. When she'd had her baby and subsequently given him up for adoption she swore to herself that she would never give in to despair (and let herself sob violently like the lost little girl who cried herself to sleep at night because she just wanted her parents so bad) ever again after that day.

(Emma Swan had never been thrown into the Enchanted Forest to fend for herself while on an impossible mission to be the Saviour everyone expected her to be again, only to get strangled and squeezed in a monster's hand until she couldn't feel anything anymore and her last breath left her forsaken.)

Feeling whatever is left of her energy slipping away as her crying evens out into calm resignation, Emma allows herself to get some much needed rest and drifts away to sleep right where she is, sitting up against a tree, knowing that should the worse happen she would simply wake up again sooner or later. Right now she couldn't care less for planning and hiding if it only meant she would fail again.

She might as well stay there, she thinks, and if she got caught and killed again at least this time she wouldn't have put a useless effort into something that wouldn't work anyway.

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><p>Killian walks through the threshold and into the living room of Emma's brand new apartment, the one they'd decided to move into together only a few days before their world collapsed all around them.<p>

He looks around the place, letting his eyes linger on the new sofa they had spent hours choosing at the store before deciding on the three seater, which was just wide enough for the two of them to lie together without being too crammed nor too far away from each other. He sighs wistfully and before he can gather his thoughts and wonder what he is doing there all of sudden the familiar sound of the aged engine of her bug coming to a halt startles him.

A much younger-looking Emma with her golden tresses tied back in a ponytail and a pair of square black spectacles over her eyes steps out of the car and enters the room, passing right through Killian's body as if he was some sort of floating, impalpable body - as if he was a ghost. She moves about the room, visibly distressed as she worries her bottom lip, and starts calling out his name.

"Emma! I'm here, love. How- when did you get back?" Killian nearly shouts and all he wants to do is cross the room to where she is standing and hold her in his arms to never, never, _never_ let go again but he is rooted to the spot, his legs refuse to obey his thoughts staying stubbornly still, and she appears to not hear his voice as she keeps calling him, her chest heaving up and down and he knows his absence is only making her more distressed - which in turn makes him feel worse, for both being the cause of her worry and for not being able to comfort her.

Killian sees her eyes start to well up with tears and he feels his heart sink because he knows she'll refuse to let fall until she finds him and knows he's safe, his stubborn Swan. He's got confirmation of just how well he still knows her when she blinks in rapid succession and lifts her chin up, breathing through her mouth trying to calm herself and think of what to do next, and for a moment he smiles softly, simply revelling in seeing Emma alive right in front of him, even if she doesn't seem to know he's there with her.

(He's _always_ there _for_ her, and _with_ her, _always will be_ no matter what, he thinks.)

The sight of a tall man, light brown hair and stubble lining his jaw, walking into the room and passing right through Killian's unsubstantial body to stop at Emma's side quickly wipes the smile from the pirate's lips.

"Emma? Are you okay?" Said the man wearing a sheriff attire that looked ridiculously out of vogue considering this realm's sense of fashion in Killian's opinion. He placed a hand on Emma's shoulder to make her turn to face him at last, and Killian was most definitely _not_ clenching his jaw in irritation at the jealousy boiling up his insides.

Emma didn't answer the man - she didn't have to. Her hands shaking on her sides and the her red-rimmed eyes visible even from where Killian was standing on the opposite side of the room, helplessly watching as another man tried to comfort his love as he was still unable to move.

"I'm sorry, but we couldn't find him anywhere..." The Sheriff says and Emma's eyes widen as she takes a sharp intake of breath, bracing herself for the rest of whatever news he'd brought her. "He's gone, Emma. He's not coming back."

Killian wonders if it's Bae- Neal who they're talking about. It would explain Emma's youthfulness and the spectacles he remembers her telling him she hadn't wore in years when he found them inside the box with her childhood memories which he felt honoured to rummage through.

Emma lets out a shaky breath, averting her gaze from the man and looking out through the window at the sea. "Do you- do you know why he left?" She asks, her voice nearly breaks and Killian wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around her from behind with both of them gazing into their view of the docks and letting the ebb and flow of the time calm their hearts, just like they did when they found this apartment together.

"You can't blame him for leaving, Emma. He was simply afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Emma almost whispers.

"You." The Sheriff replies too nonchalantly for Killian's taste, who would already have his fist in the man's face by the time he opened his mouth to say anything more - if he could move, that is.

"What?" Emma says so low that Killian reads her lips rather than hears her, and watching the way she shuts her eyes tight and lets her tears roll thick down her cheeks pains him more than he could say.

The man steps away from Emma seeing her emotional state, backing away slowly and cautiously with a narrow expression as if he's suddenly afraid of her tears, or disgusted by them, or a mixture of both.

"He was afraid you'd get out of control again and end up doing to him the same you did to your parents and Henry," he swallows hard before spitting out his next words. "He left before you killed him with your monstrous powers to."

"No." Emma's eyes fly open and she takes a menacing step towards the Sheriff. "Killian would _never_ fear my powers. He trusts me just like I trust him."

"What in the bloody hell- don't believe him, Swan. Of course I trust you." Killian shouts from across the room knowing all too well that he can't be heard.

"It's got nothing to do with trust, Emma. I decided to trust you and open up to you, and that only brought my death." The man said in a stern tone and Killian was finally able to put the pieces together realising this was Graham, one of the men Emma said she had been with - and had lost.

"Graham, I-" Emma tries to say but her voice fails her for a moment. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I- I couldn't save you."

"It's alright. I guess some things never change, right?"

Emma gives him a look of pained confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The curse, Emma." Graham replies with a shrug and offers her a sad smile. "You couldn't save your Killian either. And by the looks of it I'm not sure you'll ever be able to."

"You can do this, love. I know you can, don't listen to him! Soon you'll come back to me." Killian shouts again, desperate to make her believe in herself like he does because he knows now what this awful scenario is - he knows this is the product of her fears and her self-doubt. He knows she needs him more than ever now.

"How do you even know about the curse?" Still unable to hear Killian, her teary eyes remain focused on the man in front of her.

Graham crosses the distance between them and takes Emma's wrist in his hand, running his thumb over the shoelace Killian now understands why she always wears wrapped around her skin there. He offers her a soft smile before saying, "it's time to wake up, Emma. Try not to fail anyone else this time."

Killian's body is jerking violently on the floor of main street, and though his eyes are firmly closed indicating the spell still has its hold on him, his fists are clenched on his sides and his lips pronounce the same name over and over again - Emma, Emma, _Emma_.

* * *

><p>Almost a year has passed and Emma has established herself in a hidden makeshift tent she built with leaves, twigs and mud near the beach. She's long realised there's a group of at least five ogres living somewhere around there as she constantly watches them going to the sea to drink water or fish their dinner.<p>

After getting caught and killed by ogres a total of seven times since she came through the portal, she has finally learned a lesson she'd picked up working as a bailbonds person and never thought she'd apply in such different circumstances: the closer you stay to your enemy, the more hidden you are.

She had also remembered one very important thing her mother had taught her when she saved her life from an ogre: you have to shoot them in the eye to kill them.

Emma had no bow and arrow at hand, she had no idea how to shoot with it even if she had them, but her father's sword had proved to be more than effective. Especially when she jabbed the ogre's foot first, making them fall down to the ground almost instantly, and then make her way to the creature's head - a technique that was responsible for her not having died in over two months now.

Every night before going to sleep in her tent (she's extremely proud of the ugly but crucial thing she'd made with her own hands, thank you very much) she takes her notebook and ink pen out of her pocket and adds another entry to her _journal _- the word sounding ridiculous even in her own mind.

(To think that as a child, she'd never cared much for keeping a journal of her daily activities, or the different foster families she'd been with, unlike most other kids at the orphanage, and she would finally get into the habit now that she was in her thirties.

Whoever wrote her story in the book had an strange sense of humor.)

She would write down the usual times when the ogres came to the beach to drink water and bathe, as well as brief descriptions of them so she could distinguish between the five ones she'd already seen around and find out whether there were more of them than she thought. She would write down the location and path to the places where she normally found the berries and fruit she mostly fed on.

(She tried fishing every other night, after the ogres were out sleeping, and she wasn't exactly lucky at it most times.)

She would write down as much of a detailed account as she could remember of every time she got killed as soon as she woke up the following day. She wanted to make sure she wouldn't forget the explanation behind the numerous scars and bruises she had all over her body at this point.

(She had always wanted to ask Killian the stories behind his scars. Now she had some scars of her own bearing stories that she knew she wanted to share with no one else but him whenever they both felt ready for it.)

When she woke up crying and panting in the middle of the night after a nightmare, she would pick up her notebook and write letters - to Henry, to Killian, to her parents. She would write them letters with all the things she wished she could tell them, things she wished she had told them more often when she had the chance, and she take comfort imagining their reaction reading her words.

(Hopefully that would be enough to put her mind at ease for the moment being and allow her to get a much needed full night's sleep.

Most of the time it wasn't.)

After facing another nightmare where her haunting fear of failing her loved ones took the form of Graham and his harsh words, her mind was too restless and by the time she drifted away to sleep the sun was already out and up in the sky.

Emma woke up a few hours later, and in her enervated state of mind she calmly made her way to the beach completely oblivious to the fact that the ogres often went to the water around that time to try their luck fishing their dinner. She was about to take off her vest and start bathing when she heard the now well known guttural growl of a famished ogre.

She didn't even look up at the creature before sprinting down the beach and into the woods, her weary legs running faster than the thoughts racing in her mind telling her where exactly she was headed. Before she realised it, she had scrambled up a few slopes in hopes of losing the ogre behind her (though with her luck, the bastard was probably enjoying chase his prey) and found herself at the edge of a cliff facing the sea.

Emma looked down and felt shivers running down her spine when she acknowledged there was no way she could possibly take the fall and still be able to swim without drowning when she hit the water with so much momentum she would very likely pass out.

"It's a good thing I am cursed then." She said to herself, briefly noting she had never thought she would feel genuinely relieved with such a realisation.

She ran towards the edge picking up speed and jumped down, her body hitting the water after the long drop feeling like thousands of needles prickling her skin everywhere as she quickly sank down to the seemingly bottomless sea.

Emma began to kick her legs forward desperately trying to get back to her surface as her lungs begged for oxygen, but it was of no use. She was too deep below and her sore muscles were already giving in, her mind quickly deciding that it was just easier to let go and commit her body and her thoughts to that temporary state of death she was starting to get used to.

But before darkness and oblivion could claim her for the eighth time she felt two arms wrap around her chest and bring her up quickly, and soon her head broke out of the water and she could finally breathe again.

Her eyelids felt too heavy as she was being carried to shore and she fought to keep them open for a while, her body's exhaustion obviously thinking otherwise.

"Hey, don't close your eyes. Stay with me, okay? We're almost there now." A sweet voice chirped up and Emma could vaguely recall having heart it once or twice before, though she couldn't put a face to the memory.

The next thing Emma knows she is laid down upon soft, warm sand, and the same hands that saved her life are now rolling her onto her side. Emma immediately starts coughing up water, sitting up to finally take a look at her _saviour _once she starts to breathe properly again.

"Ariel?"

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><p><strong>A huge thank you to all of you who take the time to leave a review - you always make my days with your sweetness! Thank you to jewlsmichelle, jeepgirl1973, LichMaster701, TheCaptainsSwan, TutorGirlml, lipstixstain and emlovesyouu for reviewing the last chapter :) Your enthusiasm is what makes even more excited about this story! Hugs to all of you xxxx<strong>

**Review? :)**


	5. Four

**A/N: **The last chapter was meant to be a bit confusing (because this story isn't unsettling enough as it is, ha!), so for those of you who still have a few questions about what was going on with Killian and Graham here it goes.

Killian only realised it later, but he was witnessing Emma's nightmare, where her younger self came to surface as she feels more like a lost girl than ever now that she's having to face such a burdening journey all on her own. Her deepest fears haunted her in her sleep, taking the form of a shockingly harsh, extremely atypical Graham, who had no scruples about pointing out her previous failure as the Saviour and making her feel even worse - much to poor Killian's dismay, who was helpless to do anything as a secret observer of her dream. Feel free to assume such nightmares are a common occurrence, for both Emma and Killian - that's how I'm imagining it in my head anyways.

But alas, let's have a little break from the angst. Ariel is here to help Emma find her way through the tides :)

Enjoy! xxx

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><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

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><p><em>I don't know when, I don't know how<br>But I know something's starting right now,  
>Watch and you'll see<em>

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><p>"Ariel?" Emma asked, followed by a few more coughs to get the remaining water out of her lungs.<p>

"Are you okay?" The mermaid offered Emma a soft, concerned smile and a few pats in her back to somewhat soothe her nearly _aggressive _coughing.

"I saw you jump and you really shouldn't do something crazy like that, it's very dangerous. You might want to try diving in calmer waters next time, you could have hit your head or- wait, how do you know my name?"

Emma had to blink a few times before concocting an answer - the pain in her chest for all the effort she'd just put her lungs through certainly wasn't helping her register the events any faster - and she looked at the wide and bright blue eyes, the long red curls and the genuine _niceness _that seemed to glimmer all over the little mermaid's face.

"We haven't met before but you were friends with my mum, and apparently you saved her life too." Emma took a deep breath before saying the familiar words that once seemed too absurd to be real, but now made her long to be back home more than ever. "I'm the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming."

"You're Snow's daughter?" Ariel didn't bother with proper introductions and embraced Emma as if they had been best friends for years, which Emma realised they were probably about to become by default given how her mother used to talk so affectionately of the mermaid who saved her life _twice _and showed her enough kindness to make her wish they'd kept more in touch all those years somehow.

Emma made a mental note to start using mirror magic to help her mum catch up with her old friend when she resumed her training, and even she herself would be able to check in on Elsa every now and then to see how things are in Arendelle. Her human ice maker friend was very missed, and it was not for the first time that Emma wished she had some of Elsa's unwavering hope when she still believed she would find Anna, even after it seemed ridiculous to believe her sister was still alive. What was it about people who had ice powers or _Snow _for their name and their natural ability to never give up the hope of finding their loved ones?

"Are you… alright?" Ariel's melodic voice woke her from her musings.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just feeling homesick, I guess. Did you say something?"

"I asked what your name is since we still haven't really been introduced." Ariel offered her a smile.

"I'm Emma. It's so great to meet you Ariel - your timing couldn't be better. Thank you." Emma told her, the two of them shaking hands awkwardly due to the unusual circumstances of their first meeting.

"No problem. Your mother is a great friend of mine and if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have gone after my Eric after I rescued him." Her cheeks went a little red before she added bashfully, "I do that."

"You're _really_ into saving people. Aren't you the opposite of how mermaids are supposed to be? No offence, I mean, we ran into a few of them in Neverland and they nearly caused our ship to wreck…" Emma trailed off and gave the little mermaid an apologetic smile for her lack of better words.

"It's okay. We're not all like that but you're right, the mermaids you'd find in Neverland are really nasty ones. Were you there with Snow to save a little boy or something? I've heard so many stories about your journey."

"Pan had kidnapped my son, Henry, so my parents and I travelled there on Hook's ship to rescue him and bring him home. Definitely not the best holiday I've been on, I can tell you that."

"You have a son? Where is he now?" Ariel asked, the look of surprise on her face being immediately replaced by one of concern, the way her eyebrows quickly pinched together in confusion telling Emma she was already working out there must be something wrong for her to be here without her son or her parents.

Emma let out a deep sigh before moving closer towards the sea. She knelt by the water and splashed her face, suddenly remembering why she was here and feeling a headache threatening to strike in. "He's in Storybrooke along with the rest of my family. I have to get back home as soon as possible to break the curse and save them."

Ariel opened her mouth ready to ask more questions but Emma promptly cut her off. "I can explain everything to you later, and maybe you could even help me find what I need to get home, but right now we have to find a place to hide. We're not safe in this beach." She said the last words over her shoulder, already up on her feet and looking around trying to find something to help carry the mermaid into the forest with her.

"I'll help you with whatever you need, but if you want to be safe from the ogres I suggest you stay with us on the island."

"So you're still living in Hangman's island with Eric?" Emma stopped and turned to face her.

"We're all living there, the Enchanted Forest is not safe anymore ever since the ogres returned." Ariel replied, tilting her head with a surprised look on her face, "Wait, how do you know that if we've never met before?"

Emma bit her lip and silently cursed herself for once again not thinking before speaking, she probably sounded like a stalker - a long-distance, realm-crossing stalker.

"I'll tell you about that, too, but we really should get out of here. _Now_."

"Come with me then." Ariel flashed her a smirk and quickly wiggled her way to the shoreline and into the sea, diving in when she reached deeper waters and popping her head back up after a few seconds. "Don't tell me you've developed a trauma of the sea after that."

"Not really, but I'm not a great swimmer as you've probably noticed. How far exactly is this island?"

"Don't worry, I'll carry you on my side just like I did with Snow when we were running a- well, actually we were _swimming_ away from the Evil Queen." Ariel said with a casual shrug, as if rescuing people and saving lives was something she did more often than not - which was probably true considering Emma was at least the third person she'd saved from drowning - and which was exactly what Emma did quite frequently on her permanent job as the Saviour, so who was she to judge really.

"Okay, let's go then."

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><p>"What the hell happened to your tail?!" Emma all but shouted, utterly shocked at seeing the mermaid's tail vanishing into thin air as a pair of human legs appeared in its place.<p>

"You're just like your mother, aren't you? You two really should start learning more about mermaid mythology."

"I bet you don't know the first thing about people mythology either, do you?" Emma quipped laughing.

Ariel chuckled and shook her head in defeat. "Yeah, you're just like Snow."

Emma was helpless to fight back the memories of having found a best friend in Mary Margaret even before she believed her to be her mother, their easy bonding and their companionship as they got to know each other better with time; memories of seeing what would have been her nursery in the ruins of Snow White's castle and the care her mother had put into every little detail in that room filled with love and expectations that never got fulfilled because of Regina's curse. She thought of all she had yet to learn about who her mother was before the curse and she couldn't help but consider the possibility that she might never get the chance to.

"I guess we're more alike than I'll ever know." Emma finally replied with a wistful sigh.

"Hey, don't worry" Ariel placed her hand firmly on her shoulder, "I'll make sure you get back home to your family, just don't let yourself lose hope."

"If there's something my parents taught me is that happy endings always start with hope, and who am I to disagree with them on that." Emma said, offering her a little smile as another thank you for her kindness. "Now, shouldn't we ask your prince if it's okay that I stay here for a while?"

"I'm sure he'll be more than happy to accommodate the daughter of the woman who helped us fall in love all those years ago. But let's take you to the council so we can introduce you anyway. Maybe they can help you form a plan to get what you need so you can find your way home."

"I'm sorry, there's a council here?"

"We've been living here for over a year, Emma. We had to come up with a way to create order in our refuge. That's how Eric and the knights formed a council that now rules the island. The people thought they were the best leaders amongst us and now all the decisions are made together. We didn't need another tyrant ruler dictating everything around them and exploiting the people mercilessly."

"I'm impressed. That's quite progressive for a bunch of fairytale characters." Emma caught herself saying.

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's go talk to them then. These knights, though… they're not black knight's from Regi- the Evil Queen's army, are they?" Emma asked as they both started trudging along the sand heading to the centre of the island.

"No, no." Ariel waved her hands in front of her dismissively. "They're former Camelot knights who left their kingdom a while ago."

"Camelot? You're telling me the knights of the Round Table are here?"

"_Former _knights of the Round Table. It's a bit of a delicate subject to bring up with them so I wouldn't advise you to ask them about it so soon." Emma nodded, allowing Ariel to continue speaking. "But yes, they're here with us now, all of them but one."

"Lancelot?" Emma suddenly remembered the man her mother spoke so highly of when they thought he was helping them get back to Storybrooke, only to find out later that it wasn't actually him.

"Yes. He had left Camelot long before the other knights did, but when they all decided to leave the kingdom together and look for him they found out he was killed. They found his body somewhere in the woods in the Enchanted Forest and his heart- his heart had been ripped out of his chest by dark magic."

"Cora." Emma muttered more to herself than to the mermaid.

"How do you know about Lancelot?" Ariel looked slightly confused, though her voice was unchanged as they kept making their way through the trees until they reached a clearing where many tents and wooden shacks were situated.

"This is not my first time in the Enchanted Forest, believe it or not. I've been here twice before, just never alone." Ariel offered an encouraging smile and Emma took the hint to develop more. If she was going to make use of their hospitality she might as well share some of her own stories with the mermaid who was so willing to help her. "I accidentally fell through a portal both times, actually. And both times I was lucky to have people who love me coming after me so I wouldn't have to go through this alone."

She cleared her throat, checking to see if Ariel was still interested in listening, which her sympathetic smile showed she definitely was. "The first time, my mum jumped on the portal after me, and we both wandered around the woods before finding a camp that looked a lot like this one, only it was in the Enchanted Forest. The chief there was Lancelot, or at least we thought it was him before we found out it was Cora in disguise. She wanted to use us to go to Storybrooke to see her daughter, Regina, or as you call her around here, the Evil Queen."

"If the Evil Queen is in Storybrooke then I guess she's the one who cursed your family." Ariel had a brand new look of shock on her face, worry laced around her words.

"She is there, but she's not a problem anymore. She's changed, a lot. She's on our side now, and the villains are the ones I should worry about."

Ariel nodded still looking confused at the certainly surprising turn of events, both of them stopping a few steps before the central tent, where Emma assumed the council was in session.

"I'm glad to hear you have her as an ally now. I'm honestly shocked, but happy nevertheless." Ariel turned to face her with a smile and a curious sparkle in her eyes. "What about the second time you came to this realm, who came with you then?"

"Killian did, but I guess you only know him as Hook." Emma said averting her gaze to her feet, feeling a blush creep into cheeks and an involuntary smile steal upon her lips at the thought of everything her devoted pirate had done for her.

"But you said people who loved you- so, _you're_ the one?" Ariel asked with an uncertain tone in her voice, her eyes widening and her eyebrows shooting upwards on her forehead.

"I'm _the one_? What's that supposed to mean?"

A tall man wearing a highly embroidered, regal attire came out of the tent at that moment followed by a few men in shiny armours and helmets. The group seemed deep in conversation until the royal's eyes caught sight of the two women standing nearby and quickly dismissed the other men, making his way towards the ladies in long strides.

"Ariel! I was starting to worry about you, my love." He gave her no time to answer, kissing her lips softly and embracing her in a tight hug, seemingly oblivious to Emma's presence.

(She'd be lying if she said she didn't feel relieved to have that particular topic of discussion postponed until further notice. She had a prince and freaking knights to worry about telling her story to and convincing them to help her find Rumplestiltskin's castle - that is, if they _could_. She didn't even want to dwell on the possibility that she'd have to go back to the Enchanted Forest and face more ogres on her own.

No matter how good she'd become at fighting them with nothing but her father's sword, it was only too hard to think about facing any more of them with all the bruises and scars her clothes effectively kept hidden from view, but which still reminded herself daily of all the hell she's been through.)

"I'm fine, Eric. And before you ask, no, I didn't bump into any ogres or dangers of any kind." She told him with a smile and Emma could see Eric's expression immediately softening into relief. "It just took me longer to come back because I found someone who needs our help getting home to her family."

Ariel placed a kiss on his cheek before pulling away and moving to Emma's side, placing a hand on her arm. "Let me introduce you to our newest friend, Emma. She's Snow and Charming's daughter."

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><p><strong>Review? ^-^<strong>

**I hope you're all looking forward to _the talk _Emma and Ariel will have on the next chapter, because I'm definitely excited for it!**

**Thank you so much for you continuous support and your lovely words - your reviews make me a giggling mess every single time and I can't thank you enough for how happy your feedback makes me! Special thanks to jessica, TutorGirlml, emlovesyouu, LexieMcSteamy, jewlsmichelle, LichMaster701, and HookisHot for reviewing the last chapter! :)**


	6. Five

**A/N: **Rating's gone up to **M** due to the violent content of this chapter. **Trigger warning** for physical torture. Before you come at me with pitchforks and torches, I'll just say we are on the last two weeks of the hiatus so of course my angst levels would hit the roof. I'm sure you'll understand why I took so long to write this chapter - my muse and I argued for quite some time until I finally decided to indulge her painful ideas. Please don't hate me for this, I promise I already have their happy ending planned and it's definitely happening. *drops this and runs away to hide*

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><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

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><p><em>I can't keep up, and I can't back down<br>I've been losing so much time_

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><p>"Welcome to Hangman's island, Emma." Eric had an affectionate smile on his face as he shook hands with her. "Anyone who's friends with Snow White and her Prince Charming is our friend too, but you're the product of their true love, which is what helped us find ours, so rest assured you'll have all the help you need from us."<p>

"Thank you... Prince Eric-" Emma said in a slightly uncertain tone before he politely interrupted her holding one hand up.

"Please, there's no need for formalities. Call me Eric."

"Eric it is then. Do you think I could stay in your camp until I find a way to get to Rumplestiltskin's castle?"

"But of course, that's the least we could do for you." Eric replied with a solemn nod of his head. "We can gather the council and come up with a plan to get you there, as long as you don't mind sharing your destination with the knights."

"No, that's not a problem. An actual plan of action is what I need the most right now."

"Considering where you're headed, we'll need to think of the safest way to get you there." Eric said, instinctively using the arm he had around Ariel's shoulders to bring her even closer into his side. "The path towards those parts of the Enchanted Forest is not exactly calm waters."

"Quite literally." Ariel said, shooting him a look of fondness as she seemed to finish his thoughts. "I myself almost got into serious trouble a few times when I went swimming that way."

"And that is the only reason I managed to convince my stubborn mermaid here to stay away from the western waters." Eric said, looking down at Ariel with a glare that had little effect given the smile he couldn't hold back when she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"If these western waters are that dangerous, wouldn't I be safer going through the woods instead?" Emma asked.

"Hardly." Ariel promptly answered, turning away from Eric to face Emma, her bright blues seemingly turning a shade darker with something quite unreadable flashing behind her iris. "I thought you'd already slayed more than your share of ogres in your time here."

"I definitely have," Emma snorted back with a huff, "why?"

"The Dark One's castle has been abandoned for decades, ever since the Evil Queen cast the Dark Curse and sent all of you away." Ariel explained with a seriousness Emma had not yet seen in mermaid who usually had this joyful, chirpy air about her. "The ogres have taken permanent residence in the Dark Woods surrounding the castle. Some of them might even wander off to the rest of the forest or the beaches to search for fresher food during the day, but they mostly stay there."

"So what you're saying is I can choose to either go through a whole colony of ogres or face waters even you won't go near?" Emma let out an exasperated sigh, suddenly wishing she knew how to puff herself to places and end her quest much sooner than what it looked like it was going to take before she finally got home. "What do you suggest I do?" She asked, looking back and forth between the couple as she raised both her hands up, her eyebrows arching nearly all the way up to her hairline.

"I'm not sure, Emma." Eric said, looking at her with genuine concern. "If you've been on your own here up until now I can only imagine what you've already been through. But I assure you the Dark Woods are much worse than anything you'd find in those parts of the forest where Ariel found you."

Emma had to bite back a sudden urge to say she hasn't, she hasn't really been on her own. Even though this _absurd quest _she found herself in had made her feel even more lonely, lost and forsaken than she'd felt in Neverland, she just _knew _she wasn't alone in this. Whether he was aware of it or not, somehow she knew Killian was with her all the time.

She could sense his presence beside her when she woke up at night crying from a nightmare, she could almost _feel _his strong arms wrapping around her, holding her close to his chest and lulling her back to sleep with nothing but his heartbeat thrumming softly against her own skin. She could almost conjure up an image of him saying "_you can do this, love - use your magic" _when another one of many ogre had crossed paths with her, but-

But it wasn't him, and she also _knew _that. She might have magical powers but it seemed her wishful thinking wasn't enough to bring him here. She could feel him with her every step of the way, hell she could swear she'd even seen his head peaking at her from behind a tree sometimes, but it wasn't him. He wasn't _actually _there and that simple truth had made her realise she needed him by her side more than she'd cared to admit before this chaos began.

(It was the reason she hadn't felt confident enough to try using her magic ever since she landed here.

She'd thought about it many times, thought about striking the ogre who came her way straight in the eye with glaring rays of bright white magic but - she couldn't. And she wouldn't.)

"Listen, Emma," Eric said after clearing his throat. She had clearly got too lost in her own mind to pay attention to what he'd been saying before. "I think we should talk to the knights and weigh both options carefully before deciding what would be the best way for you to proceed. We'll combine our experience in the Enchanted Forest with your knowledge of your... _mission's requirements_ and we'll work something out. Alright?"

Emma nodded, only managing to put on a grateful smile for the sake of their kindness.

"I personally think your best chance would be going by water." Ariel chimed in, suddenly bearing a renewed glimmer of hope in her eyes. "It's far more likely that you'll bump into ogres approaching the castle through the Dark Woods than find trouble on the sea if you're cautious enough. I'm not saying the western waters are a safe way there, but I'm pretty sure it's the _safer _alternative."

"But there's still enough _trouble _in those waters that you won't venture there on your own, Ariel." Emma said, not quite catching the full meaning behind the mermaid's confident assertion. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, in my experience," Ariel turned from Eric to face her so the prince wouldn't notice the inconspicuous wink she'd sent Emma, "pirates are better than ogres."

"Can't argue with that." Emma replied in a conspiringly low voice, flashing Ariel a somewhat coy grin.

"Either way, you look like you could use some rest tonight." Eric said, gently clasping his hand on Emma's shoulder. "Why don't we get you into a hut so you can repose for a bit before dinner is served? I promise you we'll discuss your options with the knights first thing in the morning."

"That sounds great, thank you, again." She said before letting Eric and Ariel walk her to shack she could sleep in for the night.

She walked inside and didn't bother fastening the wooden door behind her knowing she'd have to come out for dinner in less than a couple of hours. She let herself faceplant into the straw mattress and closed her eyes, fully aware that she probably wouldn't fall asleep anytime soon, but it was still nice to entertain that small chance that maybe, _just maybe_, she would sleep well for the first time in nearly a year.

* * *

><p>"I wonder if she's having a jolly good time over there and decided not to come back after all." Ursula snorted, walking among the sleeping bodies of Storybrooke's townsfolk, kicking pebbles with the tips of her tentacles not caring in the least if they hit on Leroy's nose or Granny's hip.<p>

"Don't be ridiculous, Ursula." Maleficent glared at her. "Of course she's coming back. Look at this," she stretched her arms wide open indicating the entire population of the town sleeping along Main Street, "if she's stupid enough to consider these peasants her family and friends, she's certainly stupid enough to do whatever it takes to save them."

Ursula huffed and wiggled her eyebrows at the other woman with a grimace - the closer she'd get to an acknowledgement of your point. "She _does _seem to take pride in calling herself the Saviour. But it's been far too long now, hasn't it?"

"Considering we sent her there to find her way to my castle and then to the author all on her own?" Gold suddenly joined in their conversation. "I thought you knew how long she might take before sending her on this mission."

"_We _sent her on the quest, Rumple. We concocted this plan together, and don't you forget it." Maleficent all but berated him with her eyes more than with her words. "Unless you no longer consider yourself our ally."

"Of course not, _dearie_." He replied, giving her a tight smile and a half-hearted flourish of his hand in response.

"Now, now darlings," Cruella interrupted their unfriendly chat passing right between the two of them and pointedly bumping her shoulder into Gold. "While I'm sure miss Swan would never give up on her family, I'll agree that she's taking her sweet time to return. Perhaps we could give her some _encouragement _to hurry back?" She walked past Ursula amongst the bodies on the concrete floor and approached the person she was looking for in particular.

Kneeling down beside Killian's body, she looked back across her shoulder to send her partners in curse a casual shrug before going back to her ministrations. She took his right hand and lays it in her lap, eyeing his wrist with a wicked grin on her face as she made up her mind.

Before any of the only other 3 persons awake in town had the time to approach and she what she was up to, her black slim cigarette holder was coming down on his skin, the cigarette itself disintegrating into flakes of burned rolling paper and tobacco with the amount of force she was applying as she rolled the holder back and forth between her thumb and forefinger, branding a larger area of Killian's wrist as he winced violently, his jaw muscles visibly clenching.

She removed the cigarette holder and brought his wrist up to her lips to blow away the remaining flakes of tobacco and inspect her work.

"Do you think she'll get the message?" Ursula asked, looking down at the blisters forming on Killian's wrist with a grimace. "What if she thinks she's just having a nightmare of sorts?"

"You really didn't listen when I was explaining how the spell works, did you?" Maleficent said, rolling her eyes and turning to face her.

"I don't happen to be a fan of your tendency to speak in over-dramatic monologues, that's all." Ursula quipped back, arching her eyebrows at Maleficent challengingly.

"She _will _get the message, Ursula." Cruella said, once again interrupting their tiresome bickering "The main part of the spell wouldn't fail now that our Saviour is about to experience its long lasting effects. And here," - she lifted Killian's vest and shirt just enough to show plenty of bruises and scars along his ribs and stomach - "we have evidence of just how effective it is. These don't look like old battle wounds of a _retired pirate_ to you, do they?"

"Indeed, they look quite new." Gold said, walking past Ursula and Maleficent to kneel down beside Cruella, watching the pirate with a cruel smirk adorning his mean countenance. He was absolutely unable to resist the petty whim to poke at Killian's bruises and watch his torso quiver slightly with the pain, not that he'd made much of an effort to stop himself in the first place. "Great job, dearie." He said to Maleficent, sending her an approving nod.

"I see there's no mistaking this message then." Ursula acknowledged with a satisfied smile. "But, just in case the Saviour is tougher than to give in to the pain of one tiny little burn, why don't we play around with her pirate for a bit more?" She joined Cruella and Gold on the floor next to Killian's body, Maleficent promptly following suit.

"What an excellent idea." Gold said, taking the cigarette holder from Cruella's hands with an eerily cheerful hoot of laughter.

* * *

><p>Ariel was on her way to call Emma for dinner when she heard screams coming from the shack her friend slept in. She hurried to it and stopped at the door, momentarily wondering whether she should knock before entering but dismissing the thought when she heard Emma start screaming again, louder this time.<p>

"Emma!" Ariel burst through the door and ran to the side of Emma's bed where the latter was lying shaking her head fiercely from side to side, her teeth gritted and beads of cold sweat rolling down the sides of her face. Emma was agonizing in pain, wincing and groaning with her eyes tightly shut, her chest and arms suddenly jerking up at times before falling back limp to the mattress as though she was held down by invisible ties.

"Emma you have to wake up - wake up!" Ariel continued shouting as she gripped Emma by her shoulders and gave her a thorough shake until her eyes flew open.

Emma sat up abruptly, looking about the room frantically before letting her vision focus on a very worried looking Ariel sitting beside her on the bed. Her head was spinning as she felt herself starting to get dizzy and she couldn't utter a single word at the moment. Her breath was coming out in ragged breaths and she knew she needed to calm down before attempting to speak, but her mind was rushing and saying Killian's name over and over again was all she could do to stop herself from breaking down right then and there.

"Hey, Emma, it's okay, you're safe now." Ariel said before bringing her arms around Emma's shaking shoulders to pull her into a much needed hug. "Killian isn't here, but he's safe too, sweetie. It's okay, you're okay." She continued to whisper comforting words until she could feel Emma's chest stop heaving and slowing into a calmer rhythm.

Emma pulled away to wipe away her tears, embarrassed beyond measure at her open display of weakness in front of a woman she'd just met, and gave Ariel a watery smile as she tried to look less like the big sobbing mess she was at the moment.

"Are you alri- what's that on your chest?" Ariel asked with such a shocked look on her face that Emma started looking for any blood until she carefully ran her fingertips across her collarbone and felt not one or two, but several burn marks spread along her skin. Raising her wrist to her eye level she noticed there was another burn there, looking deeper and much worse than the other ones. "How did you get those... while you were sleeping?"

Emma shuddered and let out a shaky breath before looking up at Ariel with brand new hot tears stinging her eyes. "I think I have an idea."

"We need to clean your wounds before they get infected." Ariel took Emma's wrist in both her hands to examine the damage before getting up from the bed. "Eric and I keep a few medicinal plants in our hut to make lotions for these sort of situations. Come with me and I'll take care of those for you while you tell me how this happened, okay?"

Emma only managed a nod for a reply, getting up and taking a couple of deep breaths before following Ariel out. She had a pretty good idea of where these burns came from, but she still prayed to all her lucky stars that she was wrong.

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><p><strong>Review? :D<strong>

**I am truly, deeply sorry for all that pain****, trust me it hurt a lot to write this chapter. Also, I know I'd promised you guys that Ariel and Emma's _talk _was coming soon, and it is, only on the next chapter! It's literally the first _scene _you'll read! I just thought this chapter would too long and too intense if I included that as well. *whispers* any ideas on why Ariel had a rather positive tone when talking about pirates? You'll find out soon, bear with me, me hearties!**

**Thank you so very much for reading this insanely cathartic story and for reviewing it :) I thank these cupcakes in special for your amazing and encouraging comments on the last chapter: **gracefulswansavior, jessica, TutorGirlml, LexieMcSteamy, jewlsmichelle, LichMaster701, TheCaptainsSwan, thejeweloftherealm and HookisHot.


	7. Six

**A/N: Brace yourselves for THE ARIEL AND EMMA BONDING MOMENT. Everything I've been needing Emma to find out about the missing year and Killian's past encounter with Ariel has been channelled on to this chapter - I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!**

**Ps: I'd recommend you listen to the song _Shattered_ by Trading Yesterday while reading this as it will give you some major feels about Killian and Emma's particular situation in this part ;)**

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><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

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><p><em>Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart<br>Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent  
>All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain<br>All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over_

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><p>After being taken care of in such a tender, dedicated manner, Emma couldn't be more thankful for having found Ariel when she had been fighting her everyday battles alone for too long in that dismal situation she found herself in. Ever-so-kind a soul, Ariel had carefully and painstakingly cleaned every single burn mark across her friend's chest, and paid special attention to the most gruesome one etched on Emma's right wrist. It was a slow and painful process, and no matter how gentle Ariel's brushes with a soft damp cloth were, it still stung like hell to have anything come into contact with the exposed flesh on her wounds.<p>

Even when a warm breeze invaded Ariel and Eric's hut through the cracks on the wood, sweeping over her spots of charred skin, Emma hissed in pain with a prickling, burning-but-not-quite sort of sensation that seemed to follow the mere contact with air. Still, shetried her best to hold it together to show Ariel her efforts to subside her discomfort hadn't been completely unsuccessful, despite knowing her face probably betrayed her in more ways than she could think of.

When the previously white cloth (which had now acquired a more brownish crimson hue after attending to its latest duties) was tossed away, the provisional ointment Ariel had made from some medicinal herbs tactfully applied to the burns, and the redhead finally sunk back in her chair with a sigh that was a mix of relief and exhaustion, Emma was ready to finally relieve her appetite and silence her grumbling tummy.

Well, _almost _ready.

"I know you're wondering how I got these in my sleep," Emma began to say as Ariel, who'd been on the verge of drifting into sleep in her less than comfortable chair, shook herself awake. "Since I cannot possibly thank you enough for- well, for _everything _you've already done for me, the least I can do is explain a few things."

"I am quite curious to know, yes, but you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, Emma." Ariel reached out to gently place her hand over Emma's right one.

"It's okay. We're friends now, aren't we?" Emma offered a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, but given her straining circumstances it was more than enough.

"Of course we are. I've always considered Snow one of my dearest friends and, to be honest, I can't help but growing more attached to you by the minute - just like when I met your mother."

With a watery smile and using all she had in her to keep the sour tears at bay, Emma took a deep, long breath before telling Ariel everything about the Queens of Darkness allying with the Dark One to put her entire town under a sleeping curse, thus forcing her to go through a portal and land in the Enchanted Forest on this mission. She told her how the whole purpose of it was bringing them the Author's story book, how the damned book had better not be just a myth since, judging from the way none of the villains had given her any specific information about either the thing itself or its owner, they seemed almost as clueless as to how she would manage to get it.

Finally, she told her the reason behind the scars that had suddenly branded her while she slept.

"A spell connecting both of your hearts?" Emma nodded. "So they can hurt him as much as they please when they're tired of waiting knowing you'll feel it, and even bear the same scars too?"

"Apparently that's how it works."

"How is that even possible? Connecting two hearts on such a deep level, I mean. Surely even the most powerful magic would still require that they are _special_ in a way..." Ariel trailed off, allowing Emma some time to gather her thoughts and find out how to put it in the clearest terms.

(Because as much as she missed him almost every waking moment, as much as she felt her arms itching to wrap around his neck and her fingers tingling with the need to play with the soft strands of his hair; as much as her lips craved to find a safe port in his, she hadn't exactly had _time - _and the irony of that thought wasn't lost on her - to let their acknowledged status sink in properly.)

"The same special quality that will allow me to break the curse through him." She let the words tumble from her lips in a rush to get them out, as though the quicker they were out the sooner they'd come true and she'd find herself back home.

"By sharing a true love's kiss with Hook?"

"With Killian, yes."

"I was right, then. You are the one, after all." Ariel beamed at her with a strangely _proud_ smile on her lips.

"What do you mean by _the one_?" Emma asked, shaking her head worried that she had gone mad after the ordeal she'd been through. Whatever appeared to be crystal clear to Ariel, wasn't making any sense to her.

"Emma, you're the one who changed him. I'd heard so many tales of his noble adventure helping Snow's family in Neverland before meeting him but, I wasn't sure how much of it was true. Helping out the royal family out of the kindness of his heart doesn't exactly fit a cutthroat pirate's reputation, you see. It all finally made sense when you told me it was a mission to rescue your son."

"What exactly are you saying?"

"When everyone came back from your land - your Storybrooke - I thought that's where Eric must have been all the time I spent looking for him. But then I found out he'd been kidnapped by the Captain of the Jolly Roger and went after the pirate."

"No, Killian wouldn't have kidnapped Eric." Emma felt the words automatically leaving her mouth before she even realised it. Maybe he would, but- no, he wouldn't go back to his old ways just like that, he wouldn't do something horrible like that after _everything_.

"He hadn't, and he told me as much when I confronted him. That's when we figured out his ship had been taken by Blackbeard."

"Let me guess, the next thing you know he wanted revenge and he was on his way to take his ship back?"

"It seems you know him all too well. Only, I convinced him to let me come along." Ariel took in Emma's surprised expression and thought she'd better clarify her words before Emma thought she too had become a revenge-driven pirate-mermaid of sorts. "Not to help him hurt Blackbeard, gods, no. But I reminded him that the pirate's code clearly states any valuable information a captain retains should be compensated in equal favour, and he promised he'd help me get Eric back from Blackbeard."

"Then how come when you came to Storybrooke you were still looking for Eric?" This story was getting more and more confusing by the minute, and Emma wondered if maybe Ariel was talking about another Captain Hook, but she knew better than to automatically doubt crazy stories just because they seemed too unlikely to be true - Henry taught her that. "And Killian said he'd never heard of Prince Eric."

Ariel's eyebrows shot up in surprise at that. "I may have babbled a bit too much during our journey to find Blackbeard, but even if Ho- _Killian_ ignored all of it, he still knew exactly who Eric was. But Emma... I've never been to your Storybrooke."

"What? Then who the hell was the woman Killian spent an entire day with when he was trying to reunite you_- her_ with Eric?" Emma said in a raised voice, unable to conceal the twinge of jealousy showing through her words.

"Don't ask me, I have no idea what you're talking about!" Ariel replied somewhat defensively, her eyes wide with confusion.

"Clearly we're not getting anywhere here and this is only getting more confusing." Emma said, not even trying to hide her annoyance at the mess her life currently was, and her general frustration with every absurd turn of events she was faced with.

She let her eyes fell shut and tried her best to remain calm despite all the anger bubbling up inside of her. The picture of a blindingly bright neon sign flashing the word _betrayal _in her head would not easily be ignored, however, as she felt the familiar panic that came along with the realisation that someone you trusted completely lied to you taking over, followed by a mini flashback of the last time Killian made her feel this way.

("_I can't trust you now, how can I?"_)

"Well..." Ariel let out a deep sigh, as if gaining time to process her thoughts into words. "I guess if he really has changed - and it does seem like he has, Emma - I wouldn't be surprised if he felt so guilty that he'd do anything to make it right. Even lying if he thought perhaps that was the best way to cover it up."

Emma's eyes immediately shot open. "Cover _what _up?" She asked, seething.

"It just looks to me like the person who was in Storybrooke deceiving all of you might have been playing along to make Killian think I still hadn't found Eric after-" She suddenly stopped and swallowed hard, assessing Emma's anxious expression before proceeding cautiously. She didn't mean to put her friend against her true love, despite the biting fact that the pirate had wronged her in the past and jeopardised her chances of finding Eric.

"After he decided to uphold his reputation as a cruel, heartless pirate instead of helping me under the excuse that '_love brings nothing but wasted years and endless torment_'" She emphasised her message with air quotes and a pointed eyebrow raise, which she may well have picked up from the author of said quote. "It was clear to me then that whatever darkness had taken over him again after playing the hero part with your family in Neverland was nothing but the shattered remains of a broken heart."

If Emma hadn't been sitting up on a bed, she was sure her legs would have given in when she felt like she was burning up from the inside out for the second time that day. This unexpected blow left her speechless and pretty much reaction-less for a few minutes before Ariel decided to continue.

"He threw Blackbeard overboard to the sharks. He chose to take his ship back instead of helping me rescue Eric, so I jumped in the water to save the pirate and he told me where he'd been keeping him. I found him after a few days' journey and we've been living together ever since in-"

"In Hangman's Island, yes, I know. We sort of found out where you and Eric were later when we- when we checked to see if you'd managed to find him after Killian helped the fake you." Emma gritted her teeth and let out a huff of air, somehow feeling even more lost now than when she landed in the Enchanted Forest alone. This was making no sense whatsoever. Why would Killian leave Henry with her parents and go out of his way to spend the day trying to help someone he'd cold-heartedly betrayed in the past?

"Because he regretted making a wrong decision out of the bitterness in his heart." The little mermaid replied as if she'd been reading every single one of Emma's thoughts. "He must have changed, Emma, otherwise why would he help _me _after explicitly saying he was doing me a favour by keeping me away from love? He must have found it again afterwards, _love_ - and not that bunch of wood planks and a sail he kept referring to as his love." Ariel snorted and shook her head chuckling at the memory, and Emma could very clearly see Killian referring to his beloved Jolly Roger as his love in her mind, which made her heart ache as it triggered another memory that also lied very close to it.

(_"You traded your ship for me?" "Aye."_)

"Of course he found love again, Emma, otherwise you wouldn't be able to break this curse." Ariel's gleeful voice woke Emma from her memories with a wince as if it was physically painful to her to continue that conversation. Which, if she was being frank, wasn't completely wrong.

"I'm starting to doubt I'll be able to do it now." Emma muttered under her breath, quickly stopping Ariel from giving her any more information that was certain to only make her head spin faster and faster when she saw her friend opening her mouth, no doubt with a ready reply at the tip of her tongue. "You just told me he lied. He's been lying to me about this for so long now. How can you be so sure he's changed?"

"How can _you _not be sure? The man I met was not the real him, that much was clear to anyone who knew him a little. Even Blackbeard realised this well enough to taunt him into doing what he did, all for the sake of not being known as the pirate who had gone soft."

"People don't change, Ariel." Emma knew she sounded more bitter than intended, but she couldn't care less about what impression her morose demeanour was giving off at that moment.

"You're right, they don't. But sometimes they lose their way, and there are very few things in life that can be the light to guide them back to who they really are. Love is one of them." Ariel stood up and took Emma's hands in hers, kneeling down and looking her straight in the eye before continuing. "It can make you do the craziest, most stupid things sometimes, and it can also break and hurt you in more ways than you ever thought possible. Trust me, I know. But, in the end, it's _always_ worth it. Because you did it all _for love_."

Emma pondered on the meaning behind Ariel's earnest words, observing how it was written all over her face that she'd been talking of both hers and Emma's situations regarding love, and, for the very first time in their short acquaintance, she wondered how much the mermaid had probably given up to be part of Eric's world. Sure, she could jump back into the water and visit her home whenever she pleased, but it didn't change the fact that she had left a lot behind to follow her heart all the way to dry land, to her true love.

And then it finally dawned on Emma just who would have manipulated Killian's guilt as to make him so eager to help Ariel find Eric in Storybrooke. She remembered how strange he was acting with her on the following days after that, and how he somewhat explained it saying Zelena had cursed his lips and threatened to hurt Henry if he didn't kiss Emma's powers out of her. He said Zelena backed him into a corner and he thought he was keeping the kid safe by kidnapping him, only that she'd been too mad at the time to listen to his motives and consider that maybe he was actually doing the only thing he could from his position.

"It was Zelena the whole time." She finally said to a very confused Ariel's expectant gaze. "The Wicked Witch, she was in Storybrooke at the time and she needed to make me powerless so I wouldn't stop her plans. She tried to do that by cursing Killian's lips - she thought he'd be the best way to get to me. He never actually told me how she managed to curse him, but the only time he spent long enough away from me for her to approach him was when he was with _you_, I mean, _her_."

"And did it work? The curse she put on him."

"Yeah." Emma said, with a shy smile slowly taking shape in her face as the tears she'd been holding back since the beginning of this conversation spilled over at last. "She made him drown and I kissed him to save his life. I realised then that I could lose my powers, but I- I couldn't lose him."

"You did it for love, and you know it was worth it." Ariel stated with a winning grin stretching her lips from ear to ear.

"I'd do it all over again without even thinking." Emma said, with a chuckle that sounded more like a sob. She felt the familiar warmth of her magic spreading from her chest to her entire body and instantly looked for something else she could focus on, before her emotions took over and her magic got out of control again. She got up and walked over to a chair where she'd draped her cloak when she entered Ariel and Eric's hut.

"This, erm..." She produced the journal from the inner pocket and flicked through it, the pages deeply wrinkled from getting soaking wet and drying up countless times during her time in the forest, her eyes gazing on her scribbled letters as her thoughts wandered far, far away. "This is how I've been keeping track of how long I've been here since I came through the portal. And," she bit her lip, unsure of whether she should do what she was about to, "I've been writing letters to Henry, my parents and- and Killian, to clear my head when I can't sleep at night."

Despite being a bit reluctant, she presented the notebook to Ariel, who carefully took it with both hands and ran her fingers along the now battered brown leather cover contemplatively. The mermaid shook her head and handed it back to Emma along with a smile that glowed with understanding. "Thank you for offering me the honour, but I can't read this, Emma. The words you write to your loved ones in the harshest of times are yours to keep. Should you ever decide to gift them with the letters, though, I'm sure they'll treasure it."

"Thank you." She replied, the two simple words not nearly enough to express her gratitude for Ariel's unfathomable understanding during the hours they'd spent talking and sharing more than Emma had done with her own mother when it came to her feelings about Killian; but she was also extremely thankful that somehow she knew Emma had been writing all those letters without really knowing if she'd ever had the courage to give them out. It made her wonder if Ariel had a journal of her own, perhaps hidden somewhere in this very shack, filled with letters to her friends and her family under the sea.

The look of empathy she gave Emma was more than she'd expected for a reply to her silent question.

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><p>Somewhere in the middle of Main Street, lying flat on Storybrooke's cemented floor, Killian finally stopped tossing and turning in his sleep like he'd been doing for the past few hours, easing into a peaceful slumber as if a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, his chest rising and falling steadily as his heart beat tranquil for the first time in exactly a year.<p>

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><p><strong>I really, really hope you love this chapter as much as I do. I've been wanting to get to this particular conversation ever since I started planning this story! I was so nervous about writing this part because it's something I've been looking forward to for <em>far too long <em>now, so thank you all the more for your continuous support and for sharing your excitement about this fic. It really is what keeps me going, I get so very excited whenever I get a new email notification with your reviews :) ****Thank you to: **TutorGirlml, gracefulswansavior, LexieMcSteamy, emlovesyouu, The Corsair's Quill, LichMaster701, and jewlsmichelle.

**PPS: I'm sorry but this is the closest to _actual _captain swan I can do at this point in the story. The point is to increase your craving for their reunion to maddening levels until the story ends hehe I hope you still enjoy this chapter, though! :)**


	8. Seven

**A/N:** WHAT WAS THAT PREMIERE?! All the Captain Swan PDA was perfect and adorable, so of course I had to counterbalance that with all the feels here. Also, can you tell from tell from this chapter how much I loved Cruella's sass? She was brilliant!

For those of you who wanted to catch a glimpse of her journal, the time has finally come for me to play Austen and start showing you some of her letters every now and then :)

I hope you enjoy this chapter! xxx

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

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><p><em>And I know these scars will bleed<br>But both of our hearts believe  
>All of the stars will guide us home<em>

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><p>That afternoon, Cruella approached Rumple, who'd been spending an awful lot of time watching over the same woman, even when Ursula started her puppet shows (their newest source of entertainment in a deserted Storybrooke) wrapping her tentacles around a few dwarfs and making them move like dolls performing whatever ridiculous scene they came up with as of late.<p>

"Where have you been hiding, Dark One?" Cruella asked with the usual snarky tone she reserved for him in special.

"I'm not hiding, dearie," Rumple replied, "I just don't happen to find your silly games amusing, that's all."

"Right. And surely your moroseness has nothing to do with the girl you keep staring at like a stalker."

"I told you before you agreed on joining me for the plan. My reasons are my own. What matters is that we'll all have our happy endings at last."

"Fine, I won't ask anymore. But you should know you're missing out on all the fun. Ursula has just finished another puppet show and Maleficent is about to start playing with Aurora."

"Not interested, but thanks." He replied with a sarcastic smile.

"If you say so, short stuff." She said, mirroring his smile with one of her own. "But, since I'm in an exceptionally good mood today, I'll be nice to you. I'll let you have my cigarette holder so you can go have some more fun with the pirate."

"Really? And what's the reason behind this unusual display of generosity, if I may ask."

"Well, it's been a year since we sent miss Swan through the portal." Cruella said, chuckling when Rumple replied that it should be a reason for despair rather than celebration. "On the contrary, my evil munchkin. We have all the reason to celebrate, for I bet she's getting closer to the Author with every day that passes."

"Let's hope that's actually the case, then." Rumple was clearly not convinced they should be hopeful of Emma's success at this point, and secretly not sure whether he wanted her to succeed anymore.

"Come, now. I'll go with you and help you think of more places we haven't branded the pirate yet."

They walked over to where Killian was, the remnants of a smile that hadn't yet left his lips since earlier that day giving him a tranquil, undisturbed look.

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><p>Later that night, after finally having some food with Ariel (which Eric had been kind enough to set aside for the two of them, otherwise there would have been nothing left) Emma was restless and she couldn't - or <em>wouldn't<em> - go to sleep. She'd been having too many nightmares lately, most of them with either Killian or Henry in pain while she could do nothing but stand and watch from a distance.

She had briefly mentioned her nightmares when Ariel asked about the dark circles under her eyes during dinner, and the mermaid promptly gave her a candle. "To chase away any bad dreams" she said. And it was a bitter-sweet moment when she remembered how she used to do the same with Henry after coming back from the Enchanted Forest with Mary Margaret. He'd been having regular nightmares that always brought him back to room on fire. David told her the candle would help the boy just like it'd helped his grandmother after she woke from a sleeping curse, and he was right. Only that, more often than not, Emma would end up sleeping beside him after reading him some stories from his book. She wondered, not for the first time, which tactic Regina would use when Henry had these nightmares at her place.

But her current situation was unnerving enough without wondering how her kid was doing now that he was under a sleeping curse again, whether he'd been having nightmares all this time or if that was something that only happened _after _you woke up from the curse. She wished the latter option was the right one, knowing full well it meant he wouldn't be completely at peace even after she got back home, but at least she'd be there for him when he needed her most.

Letting herself think about Henry only made her more worried and uneasy, and it seemed like Emma was definitely pulling an all-nighter tonight. She got up from her bed, threw her cloak over her shoulders, placed her notebook and the ink pen Rumple had given her in the inner pockets, and held the candle carefully, using her free hand to cover the flickering flame from the cool breeze, as she walked out of her shack towards the beach where she'd first set foot on this island.

After setting the candle down in the middle of a heap of sand she put together, she took her cloak off and sat down on the sand, allowing the wind to refresh her cheeks (and, hopefully, her mind, too), finally looking up and noticing the beautiful, starry sky. She remembered another beautiful night spent under the stars when she was aboard Killian's ship on their way to Neverland to rescue Henry, begrudgingly thinking of the mermaid attack that stopped them from enjoying the only quiet moment they could have had before their mission on land began.

Just as she was finishing that thought, as well as reliving other more pleasant memories of being on the Jolly with a certain dashing pirate captain who couldn't keep his eyes off her cleavage in a certain wench dress, a shooting star fell athwart the sky. She instantly thought of Killian knowing he'd probably have a handful of tales about the meaning of shooting stars and whatnot, and belatedly realised she'd been dating a sailor for months and had never asked him what his favourite constellation was, if he had one at all.

(He probably did, and she made a mental note to ask him about it when she got home.)

Ignoring the voices in her head that had taken to torment her with their pessimism whenever she dared to have hope these days, Emma closed her eyes and made a wish upon a star - something she hadn't done in years. If it worked for Elsa without her even realising Anna's necklace was _the _wishing star, then maybe it would work unexpectedly well for her, too.

_I wish I was home with you._

She realised she probably should have been more specific with her thoughts (even though, in all fairness, she'd never been taught the correct procedure for wishing on stars), but then again if whatever magical being that granted such wishes was out there listening to her silent plea, they could probably also see the pair of blue eyes that haunted her memory as she repeated the words in her mind.

Deciding she would indulge her memories a little while longer (what was the point of trying to sleep when she'd been feeling restless even before thinking about her family anyway), she took her notebook and the pen out of her cloak pockets and started to write a letter to her father. She told him about the candle Ariel gave her and how it made her realise she never thanked him properly for taking such good care of Henry while she and Mary Margaret were away.

She also mentioned how, even though she was more than happy to be safe in Hangman's island with Ariel and Eric, she found herself missing the thrill of a good sword fight against an ogre, especially now that she'd become quite good at anticipating their next (mostly clumsy and heavy) moves and bringing them down in countless different ways. She asked him if he ever had that feeling, if he ever missed his frequent duels as Prince Charming - or, actually, Prince James before he met her mother - even when things were calm in his life. She finished her letter with:

_Dad, I'm scared. What if I can't do it? What if I can't break the curse with Killian? You told me once that I had to look for the good moments in between the bad ones, but I'm not even sure we've had enough of those with everything that happened. Do you remember when we came back from Neverland and I told you I wasn't sure I was ready to face Neal? It's completely different with Killian now, but I just can't shake the feeling that maybe I'm still not ready for whatever it is we have between us. It's not that I don't want to be with him, I really, really do, but I'm just, afraid, I guess. Of what I'm not even sure. Maybe of realising that me and Killian might be more like you and mum than I thought. Breaking sleeping curses with a kiss was always your thing anyway._

_I miss you and mum a lot. Please be safe. Love, Emma._

(Ariel was right, she would probably _never_ let David see this.)

Then, she turned the page over and started writing for Henry, telling herself she would tone down on the sentimental stuff this time because she actually wanted him to read this eventually. She wrote about what Ariel had told her of the knights of the Round Table, and asked him if he'd read their story before. She didn't remember him ever mentioning anything about Camelot so she thought he'd be fascinated to know this, and finished by promising to write again tomorrow night to tell him what else she found out on her meeting with them the next morning.

Emma considered writing to Killian, but hesitated for a minute. She knew if she did, then she probably wouldn't be able to sleep at all that night, and writing to Henry reminded her of the important meeting she was going to have the next morning. It was probably a good idea to try to get some sleep so she could explain her already overly complicated story to the knights without the effects of sleep deprivation adding to everyone's confusion. So, following her established nightly ritual before going to sleep, she turned over to the last page in her notebook where she'd been keeping track of the days and added another tally mark to it, only then realising exactly what day it was today.

It had been exactly a year since she left Storybrooke. And after one too many nights spent looking at the stars rather than sleeping, she'd only seen a shooting star now. Surely it had to be a good sign, right?

(_Happy endings always start with hope._)

(Hope had always been her parents' thing, too. But she let herself wonder again just how much like them she and Killian were.

Not that she'd ever admit it out loud.)

She realised fighting her urge to write to Killian - what seemed to her like the best means of communicating of him in this situation - was going to be as successful as fighting her feelings for him had been. So she just shook her head smiling to herself and picked up her pen again.

_Killian,_

_I don't know exactly where to start, I've been avoiding writing you letters for months now. It's just hard to do it. Writing to my parents and Henry is, too, but with you it's especially difficult, in a completely different way than it is with them. Not that you would have any idea what I'm talking about. You're lying fast asleep in the middle of the street, which is what you've been doing for a year now. It's been a whole year, Killian. I don't know if you'd find my writing is as much of an open book as my face, but I guess you wouldn't buy it if I said time hasn't made me even more afraid than I was before. It has, and I just don't know if I can do this anymore. To be honest, I'm not sure we ever stood a chance against this curse._

_Don't think I didn't mean what I said to you then because I did. Not a single day passed when I didn't think of you and missed having you by my side. But, I guess I don't know if I'm ready for it, for you - us. It probably sounds stupid given all we've already been through together, but there's a reason I couldn't say it back to you a year ago when we were saying goodbye. I'm just overthinking everything, probably. I guess it's the time taking its toll on me, and this spell, too. You have no idea what it's like to feel that you're hurting and not be able to do a single thing about it. I know it sounds insane but it's actually true, I can feel you. __Maleficent said the spell would make me feel whatever you feel, but the worst thing about it wasn't even feeling the pain, it was knowing you were going through something awful without knowing what it meant when I stopped feeling it. Whether it was because you got better or-_

_Please be okay. You promised you would, and I intend to hold you up to that no matter what happens. You have to be alright, just like I have to come back to you._

She was about to close her notebook after the fifth tear fell onto the page and stained her already messy writing, but she thought twice and decided there was something she'd been asking herself all this time, something she hadn't "asked him" yet in the few letters she'd written to him months ago.

_Sometimes, mostly when I'm thinking about us, or today when I was talking to Ariel, I suddenly start feeling restless and for a second I think my heart's racing, but then I realise it isn't. It's like I get an adrenaline rush out of nowhere, and it always seems to happen when you're on my mind. Is that...you somehow? Can you feel me when I think about you?_

_I miss you, pirate. I wish you knew how much. Emma._

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><p>Cruella reached the spot where Killian was laying perfectly still, except for his lips that moved ever so slightly, uttering something just too low for her to hear, Rumple following close behind with her cigarette holder in his hand and a tight smile on his face.<p>

"What on earth is he saying now?" Cruella asked, her patience apparently wearing thin after seeing Rumple's lack of enthusiasm about torturing the pirate some more.

Rumple knelt down beside him and got close enough to Killian's head to make out the exact words he was saying.

_I miss you, too._

"He's just mumbling incoherent words." Rumple said, swallowing hard. "Perhaps you should join your darling friends and go play with Aurora and her prince. I, alas, have far better things to do than indulge your childish whims." He gave her cigarette holder back and walked away.

Cruella huffed and shook her head, leaving Killian's side to go find her friends. She knew exactly where - or, rather, to _whom_ - the Dark One was headed.

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><p>Emma brings her cloak over her shoulders and lies back, wishing she could simply poof herself in the middle of Storybrooke and knock Gold and the Queens of Darkness out with one strong blast of her magic, but knowing full well she's still too afraid to try using her powers again with her beyond wrecked emotional state and without anyone to reassure her.<p>

She falls asleep staring at the sky, imagining if these were the same stars Killian would look at when he was trying to find her while she was in New York with Henry. She vaguely wonders if somehow, even though he's asleep, simply because she was looking up at the stars and thinking of him, he could see them, too.

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><p><strong>Review? <strong>(✿◠‿◠)

**A/N: **To Jessica who sent an adorable guest review that made me a blushing mess: thank YOU for your kind words - you have no idea how happy that made me! *hugs you* Yep, this story is going to be pretty long. I haven't written it all out yet but it looks like it's going to be around 15-20 chapters long. I'm ecstatic to know you're enjoying it so much, and for your excitement I'm going to let you in a little secret:

**SPOILER ALERT** - we're going to see a nasty character coming up soon. Emma hasn't met him yet, but when she does Killian will wish he'd killed him with his bare hands - or, rather, hand and hook - when he had the chance [TAN DAN DAANNN]

Also, for the other lovely guest reviewer who asked _"is he conscious of her or just unconsciously reacting?" _I'll just go all Emma on you and say, _wouldn't you like to know?_ You'll find out exactly how conscious he is of her when the time comes ;) For now, this chapter was meant to drop a few hints about that.

**THANK YOU TO:** Jessica, TutorGirlml, JulieCS, LexieMcSteamy, thejeweloftherealm, emlovesyouu, totalqt91, jewlsmichelle, LichMaster701, and OfBloodandStarlight. Thank you all for taking the time to make me smile like an idiot with your lovely words! xxx


	9. Eight

**A/N: **I'm sorry for taking longer to update this story. When real life wasn't getting in the way my muse would shrink away and make me plan ahead rather than start writing this particular part.

Sadly, there are no dream interactions between Emma and Killian on this chapter, though you can rest assured there's loads more of that to come. Also, things are pretty uneventful back in Storybrooke right now so that's why I'm focusing solely on Emma here. This is a bit of a buffer to get you all ready for the heavy angst that's coming next.

I hope you enjoy this and thank you all for reading and reviewing - I can't even say how happy your reviews make me! 3

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><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

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><p><em>Hold on, I will be here when it's all done, you know<br>'Cause what's the point in chasing if I can't enjoy your face and,  
>We can't be wrong tonight, can we be wrong tonight?<em>

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><p>The meeting with the council on the following morning went fairly smoothly, proving Emma was wrong in feeling extremely apprehensive that they wouldn't believe her crazy story about being thrown here by the Queens of Darkness and the Dark One simply to look for a special book. They ended up spending hours discussing the logistics of how to get her to Rumplestiltskin's castle in the safest way possible, Ariel shooting Eric pointed looks whenever a new suggestion was made for the means of transportation or the route Emma would take, until they came to an impasse.<p>

Sir Tristan was insistent that the western waters were the only way Emma could get there without encountering any ogres, which the other ten knights timidly agree with by nodding ever so slightly with their eyes cast down, the bravest of them lifting her heads to give Prince Eric a positive look. The Prince, however, appeared to have very strong feelings against this suggestion, and promptly brought a map back to the table and started to look for a hidden track through the woods that Emma could take. With a heavy sigh and placing her hand on her beloved's shoulder, Ariel finally stood up to give her opinion on the matter.

"Eric, we all know of your reasons to want to keep anyone away from the western waters, and we all respect that, darling. But I think we can all agree that risking Emma to go the longer way through the forest and encountering a handful of ogres in her path will be even more dangerous."

"I know, darling. I just wish there was another way but, I'm afraid there isn't." Eric replied with a sigh. "And I think I also know what you're going to suggest next."

Ariel gave him a sweet (and somewhat plaintive, Emma thought) smile and a kiss on his cheek before speaking.

"Emma, the western waters might be dangerous but I think I speak for everyone here when I say it's your best chance to get to the Dark One's castle in safety, besides being faster, too." Ariel told her in a moderate voice, with an underlying tone of fear that wasn't lost on Emma. "I think we should go with Sir Tristan's plan and take you there in a small boat, with a few knights to escort you." She quickly looked over at Eric, who was currently rubbing a hand along his jaw in nervousness, and then turned to Emma again. "But, there's a certain point after which it's not wise to continue through on a boat that can be easily spotted. I'll go with you, and we'll swim the rest of the way."

"Wait a minute, you want me to swim on the waters you're all saying are too unsafe to even consider going through?"

"The dangers we fear are not exactly under the sea, Emma." Ariel gently explained, her evasiveness triggering Emma's impatience.

"Then what _exactly_ is it, that makes the western waters so dangerous?"

"Two things: the unpredictable storms and pirates." Sir Tristan replied in a solemn tone.

_Great, now I have to face the Enchanted Forest equivalent of the Bermuda triangle_, Emma had to stop herself from muttering out loud.

"Is that why you don't go there anymore?" Emma asked, turning to Ariel.

Ariel nodded, and Eric instantly brought his arm around her shoulders tucking her into his side, the worrying expression on his countenance clearly reading that the mermaid had probably had some unfortunate journey when wandering off that way.

Emma chewed on her bottom lip while weighting her options. It was funny how, even though she shouldn't worry about her death being the failure of her mission, she was definitely not looking forward to dying again anytime soon. Much less at the chubby, greasy hands of another ogre. She had become quite good at slaying them, that much was true, but still she presently decided she'd much rather face perilous (and probably freezing cold, her brain insisted on adding) waters than walk a longer way through the woods and risk running into their base camp - or another clearing where, once again, she'd be nothing but a helpless prey.

"Alright," Emma finally said after a few more minutes of silent consideration, "sounds like we have a plan."

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><p>Emma left her cosy little shack that night taking a deep breath, notebook, pen and wand in hand. Before meeting Ariel and the knights that would escort them both by boat at the beach, she rushed to the great cottage at the centre of the camp, where the inhabitants of the island had their meals and sat together to listen to any announcements from the council. She opened the door as silently as possible and found one of the cooks inside, clearing the dishes from the big table.<p>

She asked him if he had a few extra pieces of string or rope in the storage room that she could have, to which the kind man asked her to sit down while he went to fetch her some rope they weren't using at the moment. He came back after a few minutes and showed her a few pieces of different lengths and thickness. Emma took two of the thinner ones and thanked him, remembering to also compliment him on the delicious food she'd been served ever since being received on the island as a guest.

After he left, she used the longer piece to tie Rumple's wand to her left ankle with two loops and a strong knot, and then slipped on her boot again. She took the other piece and fastened the notebook, with the ink pen inside it, to a small belt loop she had created by making two small tears on her vest.

After realising she might not come back to Hangman's island after finding the Author, she decided she wouldn't risk leaving her journal behind, hence why she had the idea of carrying it on the inside of her vest. But since chances were it could easily slip from underneath it while she was swimming with Ariel, she figured she had to tie it to the fabric with some sort of string. She was satisfied with her work when she tugged down on the notebook and it seemed to be firmly attached, so she ran off to meet the others on the beach.

She wasn't surprised to find Eric and Ariel in a tight embrace by the boat, where the two knights were already sitting waiting for the two ladies to join them. Seeing Emma approach, Ariel pulled back a little and, with both hands cupping Eric's cheeks, kissed him softly on the lips. He placed a kiss on her forehead before taking her hand and helping her into the boat. Emma walked up to the prince holding her hand out for a handshake and was then surprised when he pulled her into a quick hug. He helped her into the boat as well, and took a step aside so the knights could start to drag the vessel into the water.

"Please be careful, you two. There's bumpy seas ahead." Eric said in a concerned tone, regarding Emma for a second before sending a pointed look to Ariel, who nodded in understanding and blew him a kiss in response.

The worried man had nothing of the regal stance royals were meant to have at all times when he caught Ariel's kiss closing his fist in the air, and bringing his hand to his heart. It was hard to tell with the increasing distance between the boat and the shore, but Emma could swear his eyes looked a little watery.

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><p>When their cramped boat reached a small lighthouse, the knights pulled the oars out of the water and used some rope to fasten the back of the vessel to a metal ring on the side of the construction, telling Ariel that they would be waiting for her there.<p>

She tried arguing that she was perfectly capable of swimming the entire way back to the island and they could turn back as soon as Emma and her jumped out. "It's the prince's orders, milady, for your own safety." One of them said and Ariel just sighed in response, knowing when it came to her safety Eric would always be a bit overprotective. She knew he had his reasons for it, so she nodded at the men and said she would probably make it back in a few hours.

Emma was shedding her cloak to get ready to dive into the water when Ariel stopped her and said she'd better take it with her.

"But it'll slow us down, and it'll get even heavier to carry later when it's drenched." Emma argued.

"Still, you don't know what you'll find in the castle. There might be bandits living there since it's been abandoned for years, or worse. Take it, Emma. It'll help you sneak in without being seen."

Emma wondered what Ariel could possibly mean by _worse_, but decided to comply and wrapped her cloak around her shoulders again. They jumped out of the boat separately, but Ariel reached out to take Emma's hand as soon as they were in water, offering her a friendly smile and silently asking if she was alright. Emma nodded and tried to distract herself from her trembling chin and the fact that she couldn't feel her toes going numb in the icy water, focusing instead on the fantastic spectacle happening right in front of her as Ariel's legs suddenly turned into a bright green tail with glimmering scales all over it.

She couldn't hold back a dazzled _wow_, and the mermaid shrugged humbly with a sheepish smile on her face, before tugging Emma forward so they started to get a move.

They had been swimming for little over an hour, Ariel was way faster so she kept a firm hold of Emma's hand and pulled her along while the latter tried her best to keep up. They would swim mostly underwater and resurface frequently so Emma could take a deep breath before diving again, and soon they found a pace they were both comfortable with.

They were coming to surface to catch their breaths again when a net fell over their heads out of nowhere, quickly sinking into the water with a loud splash and getting tangled around their legs and tail before they had the time to duck down and swim away from it. It was then pulled up with an abrupt tug and Ariel and Emma were lifted off the water and roughly deposited on the deck of a ship.

Emma told herself not to panic as she saw Ariel wriggling on the floor, her tail starting to transform back into a pair of legs, as she looked around with incredulous eyes to find the weathered railings and the creaking planks were well known by her. She aboard no other ship than the Jolly Roger itself.

Her heart started beating a maddening staccato in her chest that made her breathe with difficulty, and for the briefest of seconds she thought she was seeing Killian standing on the helm, she couldn't help but entertain the possibility that somehow the curse was broken and he had found her again, had come to save her and bring her home _again_.

She knew it was an impossible hope even before she saw a much less dashing pirate captain descending the steps to the lower deck where she and Ariel laid on the floor tangled in a loop of nets and ropes.

No, it wasn't Killian.

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><p><strong>Review? ^-^<strong>

**Thank you so so much to: **TutorGirlml, greeny13, jessica, JulieCS, LexieMcSteamy, storydany, jewlsmichelle, Athena Brianna, and totalqt91.

**This chapter was a bit boring but I promise you guys there's exciting (read: super intense and angsty and beautifully tormenting) times ahead! Thank you for sticking with this story and for your support! Mwah! xxx**


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